What should I get gf for Christmas? She's allergic to beef so don't suggest hot injections.
— dr. ernie luckman (@ErnieLies) December 12, 2014
Change all the nouns in Christmas Carols to Fucktard
The children will love it.
Think of the children.
— John Lurie (@lurie_john) December 6, 2014
i consider my presence a present. merry christmas everyone
— Alan Garner (@AIanHangover) December 12, 2014
"mom this turkey is some goood shit"
"JIMMY I WILL NOT TOLERATE IRONY AT CHRISTMAS"
"these bad potatoes are actually good"
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) December 12, 2014
SPACE COMMANDER: instant translator enabled
BIG BABYMAN: I hate Christmas music
TRANSLATOR: I hate myself for fucking LOVING Christmas music
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) December 11, 2014
"I'll show everyone this pic of you in your wife's uggs"
bastard, I only wore those to turn on the christmas lights
— brent (@murrman5) December 11, 2014
Glad we kept christ in Christmas this year and didn't just call it mas
— Flowers for Qanon (@hamsandcastle) December 11, 2014
Christmas was always a terrifying time when I was growing up because my mom told me a clown delivered all the presents
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) December 11, 2014
I hate when kids snoop for their Christmas presents pic.twitter.com/SBli5m9st1
— Danielle Betsy (@sistersome) December 10, 2014
the worst thing about christmas is Love Actually
— jennifer (@FourEyedQueef) December 11, 2014
"We wish you a Merry Christmas /
*…fades into general sadness*
*…anti-crescendos into Barb blowing her nose*
And a Happy N
— Greg (@GrowlyGrego) December 11, 2014
the tradition of everyone gathering round the christmas boy to give me 600 dollars is being attacked by web grinches because i 'made it up'
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) December 11, 2014
top level mcdonalds executives have a full body nude mold made of themselves and on christmas they get a mcnugget body double delivered
— BAKOON (@BAKKOOONN) December 11, 2014
me: wow its WAY TOO EARLY to be playing christmas music. like stop
jesus: cool ill remember that near your bday u piece of shit
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) December 11, 2014
Santa, that fake person that we made up, is white. Sorry America. Stop the attack on Christmas.
— Osama Bin Lobster™ (@Cool_Gay_Dad) December 10, 2014