1. Oh god I hate these stupid things.
2. Oh cool, now two of the people in the group message are having a conversation among themselves that doesn’t relate to anyone else. JUST TEXT EACH OTHER!
3. I have 87 text messages and none of them are actually addressed to me.
4. I’m glad my phone is vibrating every 9 seconds because one of my friends has to send every 6 words as a text. FINISH YOUR THOUGHT THEN HIT SEND!
5. I’m gonna text one of my other friends in the group that’s also being silent to see if she hates this as much as I do.
6. She hates it too! I knew it! Now we’re going to start our own group message just to complain about the other group.
7. I would seriously rather be in a human centipede than this group text.
8. What if I just change my phone number and don’t tell them? Is it worth it? I’m starting to think it is.
9. Oh cool now someone is asking for relationship advice. How about you scroll up 900 messages earlier where we already told you what to do about your loser, cheating ex.
10. My phone is almost dead and I’m expecting an important call, but my battery is going to die in a few minutes because my idiot friends are talking about their favorite emojis.
11. Ok did you see what she just said? That was definitely racist, right?
12. I just asked my friend in the new group where we make fun of this group and she confirmed that it was very racist.
13. I want to hit my phone with a hammer as hard as I possibly can.
14. Is this hell? This is hell, isn’t it?
15. I will throw my phone into the sun and live as a desert-dwelling nomad if it means I get out of this group.
16. I need new friends.