I’ve accepted our relationship and you for what you are. But the feelings of abandonment don’t just go away. They come back now and then. Something will trigger me and I’ll resort back to feeling like that abandoned and alone 5 year old girl who wasn’t good enough.
Hold out hope that one day you’ll go on a first date that’s only mildly awkward with a guy who makes you laugh, and maybe that first date will turn into two, or three, or forever.
You’re sober now, but you can taste that high. Oh god, you miss it. Suddenly you’re acutely aware of just how far you’ve fallen.
Are they laying in bed too? Are they thinking about you? Remembering? Do they feel anything at all?