The Truth Is You Never Cared If You’re Not Willing To Do Anything To End Assault

black and white standin gin the water
Joshua Earle

When a close friend shares with you that her Pastor made uninvited sexual advances towards her and you argue that the pastor is a godly man and wouldn’t do such a thing, you just don’t care enough about protecting people against abuse in a religious community.

When you see bruises on your sister’s arm and know that her husband has a history of physically hurting her and you choose to not ask her about the bruises, you just don’t care enough to make things messy within the family.

When your child tells you that the female babysitter is making him do things that are “scary” and you ignore his words because it’s more convenient for you to keep using the same sitter, you just don’t care enough to protect your child from harm.

When you overhear a co-worker being lied about and their career ends up damaged because of the toxic behaviors of others, you just don’t care enough about workplace abuse to be part of the solution to stopping it.

When you know a friend plays psychologically abusive mind games with his girlfriend and is obviously causing her intense emotional distress, you just don’t care enough to stand up to the abuser and tell him you see the games he plays.

When you watch several family members scapegoat another member to the point of causing anxiety for the person, you just don’t care enough to be an ally to the abused individual because you don’t want to be targeted too.

When you know your friend’s wife chronically belittles and berates him to the point of causing him to be depressed, you just don’t care enough to tell him that he deserves to be treated better.

When you look the other way to abuse, exploitation, and discrimination you simply just don’t care enough.

Will you care enough when the tide of life shifts and you are the target?

Will someone else care enough about you and intervene?

What have you done to send the message that you just don’t care?

What are you willing to do to stop abuse in all its forms?

Your answers to these questions will help shape the type of communities we all reside within. Places that we know, and love, have been deeply impacted by people not caring enough to take a stand for what is right. We have witnessed this in Hollywood, politics and within the evangelical church. Bystanders are quietly turning away from the abuse and doing nothing. Others are openly supporting known abusers and behaving in herd mentality against those who speak up about the abuse they have personally experienced. The time of doing nothing or attacking anyone who shares their story must come to an end.

To all of the survivors out there, please find comfort in knowing that many of us do care.

Many of us work tirelessly to loudly ring the warning bell that abusers walk among us. Many of us love you as sisters and brothers. Many of us believe that bad things did happen and were covered up by people who should have stood up for you. Many of us are you, a survivor, too. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

LCSW, owner and lead therapist of a private practice counseling agency

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