I think I want to settle down one day; get married and have a family. At least I think that’s what I’m supposed to do… Is it what I’m supposed to do?
Sometimes I can’t help but think it’s all just a biological urge we have to ensure the survival of our species. Or maybe it’s a social construct created to keep society functioning more smoothly. I know that’s cynicism, but I’ve never denied being a cynical romantic.
As a girl, I’m expected to want to commit to a man and have a relationship. I’m supposed to have this ticking biological clock that screams “get a ring and make babies!.” But instead, I’m usually the one running the other way; to quote my favorite movie: “I’m not going to let anyone put me in a cage!” And here are the reasons I won’t let anyone put me in said cage:
1. I want a career more than I want a man.
Personal preference I guess; but Lady Gaga once said “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” I am in love with my career, dream about how far I will go in it, and don’t want anything holding me back. Historically, women have given up their careers for men and families. We still haven’t made that much progress in this certain area. But believe me, I will never sacrifice my career because you think yours is more important or that the kids ‘need a mom at home’. I’d rather have neither before giving up my professional goals.
2. I love my alone time more than I could love you.
Okay that was a little exaggerated, but I do value my alone time more than most. I restore myself when I’m alone, because the stress of being around people is draining. Even having to constantly text someone sounds worse than getting a root canal. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely enjoy the company of others, but moderation is the key to life. If a man could understand my need for personal space and alone time, that would just be fantastic. But men tend to be needier than they like to pretend they aren’t.
3. I don’t need you.
I have a good head on my shoulders, a promising career, a good family, etc. etc. Like they say; I know what I bring to the table, so I’m not afraid to eat alone. I’m comfortable in my single status (too comfortable, obviously). I’m lucky enough to have the resources and abilities to do this whole life thing on my own, and the possibilities are endless. With a man… well, they may be less.
4. And I definitely don’t need your bullshit.
With relationships come some really wonderful things, I know that. But so do the, uh, not so good things. I don’t have time for your jealousy, your moody attitudes, your hot ‘n’ cold crap , or any mind games. Yeah, maybe I’m just not ready to put in the work it takes to have a relationship. Or maybe my experiences with ‘boys’ tainted my outlook. But at this point in my life, bullshit will make me running the other way faster than Usain Bolt.
5. Because I haven’t found him yet.
All the alpha bitch excuses aside, the reason may be because I haven’t found him yet. I recently was having a heart to heart with my dad (yes a girl this cold can have a wonderful relationship with her father; no daddy issues here), and I told him that I think I may have figured it out: I’ll know it’s the one when it feels that by being with him, my life has more possibilities, rather than less..
Because maybe in the end I’m really just in a cage I’ve created for myself, waiting for someone with the right key to open it up. But until then, I’ll keep on not settling.