Almost everyone has experienced some sort of breakup; whether it was never really official or you had been dating for 5 years. Either way, they hurt. They suck, but they also make you grow.
1. The initial shock phase.
You just got dumped. You can barely believe it. Your lover and best friend is telling you that they want to see other people. It’s almost as if they just took your heart, ripped it out of your chest, and left it lying on the floor like an unwanted piece of garbage. This phase is extremely painful, but usually short lived. I’ve also noticed that the older you get, the easier this phase tends to become.
2. The ugly phase.
This is the child of the initial shock phase. The first wave of pain has come and gone and now you are left to deal with the entirety of the situation. There is a lot of beating yourself up in this phase; asking yourself what went wrong and how you could have done things differently. Theres is also a lot of crying, making a fool of yourself, sleepless nights, and desperate phone calls. It’s not cute (hence the ‘ugly’ phase). You realize who your real friends are during this phase, as they really step up to the plate by dealing with your looney ass. If you’re lucky, this stage is short lived. But you have to experience it, as it gets all the bad feelings out and allows you to truly heal.
3. The missing my second half phase.
After the pain and sadness begins to fade away, the loneliness tends to take over. When all is said and done, you can’t deny that you just lost your other half. Everything you used to do together just doesn’t feel the same alone. In this phase, your loneliness can get the best of you. You may feel a void that needs to be filled. Enter stage right: the rebound. The rebound can help you get over the break up. They can also cause a whole new shit storm of problems. So tread carefully through this phase. Some people end up with their rebounds, and some end up with more broken hearts. Just remember; two broken hearts don’t make a whole my friends.
4. The slutty phase.
This phase is not always necessary, but can be loads of fun. You are starting to feel like your pre-break up self. You are free and independent. There may be copious amount of drinking and dancing inappropriately included in this phase. People may refer to you as ‘that girl.’ Let them think what they want, at least you aren’t still in the dreaded ‘ugly phase’ anymore. You do you, girl; just be safe.
5. The independent bitch phase.
My personal favorite. You’ve finally gotten through all the phases. You’ve cried, done some shameful things, drank a little more than you’d like to admit, had multiple epiphanies along the way, and now feel like a stable human being again. You loved. You lost. And you learned. Look at you, being all mature and shit. Looking back, you don’t even know why you let that douche break your heart. You don’t need a man; you did this all on your own and look at where you are now. You forgot that single could feel this damn good.
6. The ready to give love a second chance phase.
During the independent bitch phase, you may find someone that makes you question your independence and bitchiness. Tread carefully, because he could end up like the last douche. But as much as you love being your independent, single self, love is bound to find you again. So don’t let yourself become cold and closed to the world, embrace each new (and promising) opportunity with an open heart. You can give love a second chance, just remember all the things you have learned so far on this journey. When you find the right one, it will have been worth all the pain and struggles.