Is This My 19-Year-Old Cat…Or Me As A 41-Year-Old Woman?

  1. Prone to snapping at passers-by who comment about how old she’s looking.
  2. Takes medicine to incite functions that used to be naturally occurring.
  3. Sleeps with one eye open, scaring nearby children.
  4. Cannot accurately predict pooping anymore.
  5. Fan of spontaneous mid-day naps.
  6. Travels from “Oh, fun!” to “I’m over it, see ya” in under 30 seconds.
  7. Needs ever-increasing help with aspects of appearance that used to be fixed by self-grooming.
  8. Sometimes wanders into another room for no particular reason that she can recall.
  9. Happy to see her kids, but also wonders when they’re going to go away.
  10. Up for it, but only at very specific times.
  11. Visits to doctor invariably do not resolve symptoms presented, but result in new, previously unsuspected diagnoses.
  12. Grudgingly interested in upping the fiber content of food she consumes.
  13. Sometimes catches people looking at her with pity.
  14. Starting to see the point of ranch houses.
  15. Going outside is a huge production and ultimately usually not worth the effort.
  16. Occasionally, friends gently ask what she’ll do “when the time comes.”
  17. The phrase, “Well, look who’s Grumpy Cat today!” has been used around her.
  18. Would not trade experience for youth, but misses her old knees. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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