How To Fall In Love (Like A Proper Idiot)

500 Days of Summer
500 Days of Summer

First, you have to establish the thought that they’re the best person in the world and that they’re the only one of their kind. They’re the only one who can ever make you feel that way.

That way: euphoric, new, elated, warm — basically how seeing a puppy makes you feel.

You know that there’s someone out there who thinks of your being as their idea of perfect. You think it’s them. Your brain is nothing but them. You start to formulate a string of pleasant possibilities that both of you might be in. When you tell your mind to stop thinking about them, it obeys, for about a second. And then you get sucked back into the rift that you made for them prior to this denial.

Do you really think you can stop thinking about them? If your answer is yes, then congratulations! You’re already a certified idiot — in love!

You can stop reading this now unless you want to become a dumbass in love. Or maybe you can keep reading because you’re a masochist like me who likes to experience that familiar gnawing pain in their chest.

1. Think of a future with them.

2. Think of having a pet/child/an apartment/a plant (or any other thing that requires a shit load of attention).

3. Make a playlist for them or you that — surely reminds you of them.

4. Imagine romantic, sexual, silly, mundane experiences with them. Seriously, it could be anything just as long as you’re imagining it with your so-called significant other.

5. Watch a movie — preferably a romantic one — and try to relate every single thing in your “relationship” to the one in the movie. And then cry afterwards if the two don’t end up together. (DON’T WATCH 500 DAYS OF SUMMER. YOU WILL NOT FIND ANOTHER HOT PERSON IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOUR BREAK UP. And also, don’t expect your S.O. to take you on a whirlwind of romantic and sexual exploits because not everyone is a manic pixie dream girl/boy.)

6. Convince yourself that you’re not one of those people who “fall in love” or “believe in love” because you’re “smart” and you “know how to control your feelings”. Well let me tell you something, the fact that you even had to tell yourself that clearly states otherwise. The least you can do is be honest for fuck’s sake.

7. Tell your friends about them. Surely, you haven’t, because you didn’t want it to be real. Right? Because telling your friends would mean letting them into your world which — ding! — means reality.

8. I didn’t want to come to this but… tell your family about them. Because what’s more real than family?

9. Find a song that strongly reflects your relationship and listen to the said song 7 times. No, 15 times.

10. No, you know what? Listen to it as many times as possible because let’s face it. That song is the only one in your music library. TC mark

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