1. You don’t think you’re going to find someone else
You have been led to believe by him — or by your friends, or by society — that you are lucky to have found someone, and that you should cling onto this even though you can hear that whisper deep inside your heart telling you to walk away.
The truth is, being alone forever is far better than staying with someone who disrespects and dishonors the goddess that you are.
2. You believe you’re not already whole
We are taught that we are incomplete as singletons, and that our sole mission in life is to find “the one” so that we can finally feel complete.
This is bullshit. You are already whole on your own.
3. You don’t realize you deserve so much more
As girls, we are taught to hate ourselves. Our confidence and self-worth becomes crippled, and we start to accept behaviour from others that is simply unacceptable.
If we were thinking straight, we’d call someone out on it right away and distance ourselves from anyone who continued to cross that line.
When you discover your true worth, you’ll see that you are deserving of a man who loves and respects you — in your company, as well as in your absence.
4. You have accepted the fact that “boys will be boys”
Boys will be boys, and what do boys often do?
They lie, they cheat, they lie some more, they get caught, they spout out an insincere apology, you forgive them, and then they cheat and lie again.
You need a man.
A man is someone who is kind, impeccable with his word, and wholly committed to you and your relationship. A man is someone who will never cheat on you, physically or emotionally, and who will always give you the difficult truth, even when it’s not what you want to hear.
5. You are drawn to bad boys
There’s research that proves women’s brains are wired to be attracted to the bad boy type during certain times of our cycle while wanting more stability and a caring figure during ovulation. This is because we seek someone who can protect us and our future offspring.
And that makes a lot of sense, right?
The next time he treats you like shit, carefully consider if this is the kind of person you want in your future and in your potential kids’ future.
6. You think you can change him
Let me tell you a secret: as women, we all think we are that unicorn who can change him.
But you’re not. No woman can change a man. We read about it in books, and see it in movies all the time, but it’s NOT REAL.
If a man changes, it’s because he wants to change for himself. It has to be that way, otherwise it’s never going to last.
7. You’ve seen other women accept this unacceptable behavior
Maybe that’s your mom, your sister, your best friend, or even Beyonceé.
At this point, you’ve witnessed countless incredible women forgive guys for mental or physical abuse, for cheating, for flaking out, for ghosting, and for just not being there when they needed them most.
The more you see this, the more it becomes normalized. And whether you realise it or not, that begins to affect your own beliefs and decisions.
You’ve seen other women put up with assholes like this, but that doesn’t mean you have to.