Bullshit, No Girl Is Born Hating Herself

women's white crop top
Chelsea fern / Unsplash

The more I write and speak about empowering women, the more women I have reaching out and sharing their personal battle scars with me, from all the times their power has been stripped away. Leaving them helpless, and in despair.

And those scars run wide and deep.

There are women who you’d think have the perfect lives, and the perfect body to match, but even they struggle with the reflection they see in the mirror.

There are women I used to wish I could look more like, and many years later I’ve found out they were wishing for the same.

There are countless numbers of women who wake up unhappy in the skin they’re in, and go to bed making long lists of all the reasons why they’re not good enough.

I’ve listened to and read stories of anorexia and bulimia, anxiety and depression, and every shade of self loathing you could imagine.

The more I hear, the more I feel my heart begin to crack, and the more furiously the fire begins to rage and rattle through my bones.

Because no girl is born into this world hating who she is.

If anyone has ever tried to tell you as a woman that this self-hatred is just a part of who you are and the way you were born – ignore them.

Bullshit, this is not your problem.

This problem was meticulously designed, carefully conjured and crafted, by masters at work.

Masters who don’t give a shit about your suffering, or mine. So long as long as they keep seeing the dollars rolling in.

There is no baby girl who wishes her nose could be smaller, her skin whiter, or her thigh gap wider.

We learn to hate ourselves as girls and women.

And we learn and breed this disgust for ourselves, because we’re exposed to hundreds of messages every day teaching us to not be satisfied.

And damn, they to do a fucking great number on us, don’t they?

We live in a world today where 90% of teenage girls don’t believe they are beautiful, and girls as young as twelve want breast implants.

It’s the 21st century, and women are still being taught to base their value on the way they look.

Bravo guys, all your plotting and scheming is really starting to pay off.

You see, the people that run the billion dollar empires of this world want to inject us women with as much fear, hatred, and sickness as they can.

They want us to crumble into little pieces on the floor, so they can pretend to take us under their wing and heal us with their poison.

They want us to look in the mirror and think long and hard about what we’d like to sculpt, plump or stitch. Because then we’ll keep their cosmetic surgery businesses thriving.

They want us to be at war with food, cycling through starvation, then making ourselves sick after we binge on ten chocolate bars. Because then we’ll continue to buy the shit they want to sell us, like diarrhoea teas, and appetite suppressing lollipops.

They want us to believe them when they tell us we are worthless if we don’t look like the women we see as we scroll on our phones, flick through magazines, and turn on the TV.

The way I see it is, we have two choices as women today.

We can choose to lay down quietly, and conform while society tells us what is and is not beautiful or acceptable.

Or, we can say fuck that.

We can choose to stop buying the magazines, to unfollow those toxic social media accounts, and let go of anyone who makes us feel shitty about ourselves.

We can choose instead to surround ourselves with loving souls, to fuel our mind with empowering thoughts, and to create our own definition of beauty.

We can choose to make peace with our bodies, and to show ourselves the unconditional love our hearts have been deprived of for far too long.

If you are one of the unlucky ones who learned to hate your beautiful self, then I want you to know, you also hold the power to learn to love yourself again. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Shani Jayawardena

I hold a mirror to your soul, so you can see how beautiful you are

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