This Is Why You Should Never Take Him Back When He Cheats

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Tyler Nix / Unsplash

Girls and women everywhere: when are you going to stop settling for men who do not deserve the earth you walk on?

Just because Beyonce took Jay-Z back, it doesn’t make what he did okay. And I know you might believe it does, because fuck, she’s BEYONCE, and she could have her pick of all the men.

But it’s not okay.

And I hope with all my heart that you don’t see examples like that, and begin to make excuses for someone treating you like you’re not human. Like you don’t have feelings and a fragile heart and the right to a partner who doesn’t shit all over you like you’re nothing.

You shouldn’t take him back when he cheats.

Because any trust you may have had has been shattered. Like glass, you could spend the next weeks, months, years trying to find every last shard, and glue them back together, piece by piece. But the cracks will be there. The brokenness will always be there, lingering.

You can try and start over, but it’ll never be like it was before. And you will spend the rest of your time worried it’s going to happen again. Wondering why the hell he ever did it in the first place. And letting that worthlessness cloud over you, draining you of the color that used to fill your soul.

Because you gave him your forgiveness. You mouth told him it was okay when deep down, your heart knew it really wasn’t.

You shouldn’t take him back when he cheats, because you are a thousand times better than that. And you deserve someone who feels incredibly lucky to be your person.

You are worthy of a man who adores you, loves you with the whole of his heart, and wants to share forever with you. Because even though you are just one woman – that is so much more than enough. You should be enough for him. Your heart, your mind, your lips, and breasts should be ENOUGH for him.

Do not spend even a second wondering what you did to make him disrespect you so cruelly. You didn’t do a damn thing – that’s all on him. If someone wants to fuck someone else, they should use their balls to speak their truth and end their current relationship before doing so.

That guy is still an asshole, yes. But at least he’s an honest asshole.

I’m aware that I’m not in your relationship, nor do I want to be. I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. And no, I don’t see how much he loves you, and how good you guys are when you’re good.

All I see is that guy you go to sleep next to each night; that guy who’s supposed to be your guy; that guy who you decided to give your all and your everything to, giving himself to someone who isn’t you.

You shouldn’t take him back when he cheats.

I know you might be worried you’ll never find someone quite like him again. That you won’t find a love as vibrant and intoxicating as this one. And you know what? You’re right – you won’t.

What you’ll find will be real love.

The kind of love that is honest, and committed, and loyal no matter what. The kind of love that your grandparents tell you stories of, from a seemingly distant, black & white past. The kind of love that survives growth and death and birth. The kind of love that never fades, even when looks do.

And if it’s not a love like that, you shouldn’t be afraid to let it pass you by.

Hell, if it’s not a love like that, then it’s not love. TC mark

Shani Jay

Join me on Instagram for more sunshine, and check out my book, Bloom.

This is for all of the girls still learning to love themselves…

…the girls who feel like they don’t measure up, who’ve wished they could wake up as someone else for a day, who feel like they’re somehow less than what they should be. This is for all of you who have been led to believe your beautiful souls are not enough.” 🌸
“This book came to me at the perfect time—it is so genuine, uplifting and powerful! If you are looking for something that will soothe your soul and motivate you to love YOU for exactly who you are and become the women you aspire to be, this is the book for you!”—Danielle
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