To all of my lovely friends, colleagues and family, whom I adore; but who just cannot fathom why I am still a free spirit, bumbling along, doing this life thing on my own.
This is why.
Because being in a relationship keeps me from being FUCKING AWESOME.
Because I get to go out and kiss strangers. And it feels like an army of fireworks exploding through my body every time.
Because I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person. And so should you. This world already has too many mismatched couples filling it up with their tears & sadness. We need more smiles.
Because going to bed and waking up alone is not nearly as lonely as waking up with someone you don’t really see a future with. There’s nothing hollower than that feeling. Trust me.
Because you can’t begin to start loving anyone else until you have harbored and invested that love in yourself. And a few years ago, last month, yesterday… that’s who I was falling in love with. Me.
Because after all that crushing, I have a lot of love for myself. And I refuse to allow anyone to love me less than I do.
Love should, without question, be this incredible, intense, and passionate out of this world experience. As should everything else. Mediocre is for losers. Do nothing without giving it 100% of yourself. Making a sandwich for lunch today? Make it the best fucking sandwich you’ve ever made. Be all in. Otherwise don’t bother.
Because, without wanting to sound clichéd, I really am a strong and independent woman. I may not have the biggest muscles, but I’ll be dammed if I don’t manage to knock some sense outta that useless set of tiny pictogram ‘instructions’, and get those shelves up, and staying up!
Because my person just hasn’t shown up yet. And that’s okay. It’s not our time yet. I’ve got a lot left to accomplish and experience on my own. And that’s just the way it’s meant to be.
And because, why the hell are we all in such a mad rush anyway? You can control many things, but love is not one of them. Stop thinking about it so much, and just watch what happens when you relax.
Because I have grown up with great role models in my life; an amazing dad, and two FAB brothers, who have shown me how a real man treats a woman. And I’m really blessed to have seen that. And yes, it means many guys won’t make the cut. And that’s fine by me. Because I’m lucky enough to know better.
Because I want you to open doors for me, and let me go first. I want you to reach for my hand, and squeeze it reassuringly when you know I’m scared. I want you to want me for more than just my body, because we both know I won’t always look this way. I want you to listen, really listen when I speak. I want you to think of me; even in the tiniest of moments. And I want you to kiss me like you mean it, every time; because I promise to always do the same.
Because I have high standards and high expectations. And I refuse to lower them. There’s a time to compromise, and there’s a time to stand your ground. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t treat you how know you deserve to be treated. This is no time to compromise.
Because that DICK never messaged me back. But that’s his cowardly choice to make. It’s a reflection on him, not you. Remember that. And you can do infinitely better than someone who is so careless with another’s heart.
Because there have been one too many guys who have gotten inside my head, only to disappear without a word. Because of course, I’m being a little more careful, a little more guarded, and a little bit wiser in my choices now (I hope).
Of course I am. The thought of opening myself up to rejection and heartbreak scares me. The thought of allowing my feelings to grow to the point where I feel like I need someone, and can no longer exist without them; that terrifies me.
And because… I won’t chase people. If you want to be in my life, I know you will show up. And you will keep showing up. I’m not into half-arsers. Don’t tell me how much you like me. Anyone can do that. Words are incredibly cheap. I’m waiting for the man who shows me.
Because for the most part, I’m a girl who knows what she wants, and I know that I haven’t seen him just yet.
And because, honestly, I am yet to meet anyone who is able to handle someone as bad-ass as I am.