I have so many days where I sit and wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?” I have all these unusual traits that sometimes make me feel like I don’t belong in most places or with certain people.
Why do I think so much? Why do I need to have answers for everything that happens in life? Why have I always talked so proper when I’m from Texas and have a family full of southerners? Why am I so isolated, yet still a people person? Why?
All these years I’ve asked God and myself so many questions. I was looking at all my traits as flaws or a sign of illness — that is, until God started showing me differently.
There has to be a reason for the way I am. I know my Creator didn’t make any mistakes.
As I’m getting older, I’m beginning to see more and understand a little better. The world can sometimes make you feel like you don’t belong or matter. You can think entirely too much or not live up to their standards and they’re quick to shut you out. Maybe I think too much, because whatever my passion or my purpose is, it’ll require me to put together ideas, and my mind is my workshop. Maybe the reason why I talk proper when I should have an accent is because God wants to use my voice for something one day and He’ll need people to understand what He’s saying. Maybe the reason why I enjoy isolation but can still be social is because being alone in the quiet is peaceful but being around people is also healthy and fun. Maybe I actually enjoy people and love hearing about their life experiences, but I can’t be around them for too long. Maybe I can hear God speaking to me better when I’m alone but I’m called to go out and help people. Maybe we’re looking at all these “unnatural traits” or “flaws” in all the wrong ways.
When you shift your perspective off of yourself and on to a bigger picture, your mindset changes. There’s nothing wrong with you. God can turn your negative into something positive. That thing you can’t help doing is there in you for a reason.
You could be somewhere or doing something and your mind is always on something else, like painting, music, building things, fixing things, or even designing something. That’s in you for a reason. You’re destined to be someone; you’re destined to be something.
You stand out for a reason — even if you feel like you’re weird, embrace it. Embrace everything in you that you’re ashamed of. Who cares about the labels and the cliches of this world? Who cares what people have to say or what they think? Don’t try to be anyone else but yourself, because God made you for a reason.
You were made to be creative. There’s a calling on your life, and God has been giving you hints and little pointers each step you take. Don’t ignore the call. You could even be a person who loves solving problems, someone who doesn’t mind seeing blood. Not every person has the stomach for it, I promise. Maybe you’re called to be a doctor or a detective — you’ll never know if you don’t take that step of faith in that direction.
If you love music, go sing or play at a karaoke night in a lounge or at a show. If you paint or write, submit your art online or in a gallery. Put those gifts to the test and walk in the direction that God is leading you on. Have courage; most importantly, have faith. God made you for a reason.