Stop Chasing Sex

chasing sex
Unsplash / Sharon McCutcheon

You get tired of having sex with that one specific person

We all know the feeling, right? You see someone cute. In that brief moment, you start thinking about all the possibilities. One thing leads to another, and now you’re in bed with the person!

Maybe the sex was great. So you keep having sex with them, even though you said it would only be a one-time thing. Next thing you know, you’re in a semi-committed relationship with the person after a month or two.

Great…just fucking great…sex with the person is starting to lose its mystery and rush, but you’re now expected to keep interacting with the person since it’s not a “one-night fling” anymore.

Once you’re tired of the sex, that person’s annoying or lackluster personality becomes 12x more agitating

What used to be mind-blowing sex has turned into okay sex (or even worse). Now what? Well since you can’t just suddenly stop interacting with the person, you force yourself to keep replying to their texts, answering their calls, letting them in when they randomly show up, etc.

You start noticing how agitating their voice is, how they won’t stop fucking touching you, and how much better other people are to them in every single way.

It leaves you less time to become successful

Going from person to person, constantly dating new people, leaves you a lot less time to be successful. From texting/calling/cuddling for hours to going out on dates every weekend, all of this takes time. Though you won’t notice it in the moment, that time you spent on extraneous activities slowly builds up.

It takes years of constantly working at one thing to become successful. A few hours per day chipping at a certain goal, done over years, will make you look like a overnight success ( <- famous paraphrased quote by Twitter’s founder).

However, if you aren’t able to chip away at your goals every single day, because you’re giving into your hormones and societal “norms,” then where do you think you’ll be in ten years? Probably exactly where you are now, plus or minus a few degrees of success, but you definitely will not be successful.

You may end up accidentally having a child with them

God, I pray this never happens to you, but if it happens…You see that agitating person that you’re thinking about? You’re now stuck them. The option of “going your separate ways” is now gone. Poof! Adios! Bye-bye!

Though you may not have to continue romantically interacting with the person, that person is now permanently ingrained in your future. They now expect this from you and that from you, and it never fucking ends. Sex wasn’t really worth it now, huh?

The risk of STDs is like playing a game of Russian Roulette with yourself

No matter how much we try to ignore and not think about it, the risk of an STD is always secretly there. You go from one sex partner to the next. Oh, I didn’t get one this time. Oh, I didn’t get one again. This game can go on for a while…until it doesn’t. The bullet finally entered the chamber and you killed yourself.

Now any future casual flings are gone (or you go to jail for consciously giving someone else an STD). The number of potential long-term romantic partners have been divided by 100. And depending on the STD, you might only have 2 to 10 years live…

It stops being acceptable

For most of us (speaking to millennials and Gen Z), it’s currently acceptable to have random hookups with the opposite sex. For guys especially, it’s even cool and promoted. But there’s actually going to be a point in time when it’s no longer cool (even in your close, lets-party-all-day friend group) or acceptable to be uncommitted.

The time period when it stops being cool is undetermined. It may be out of high school, out of college, or as you become 30. (IMO it’s mid/late-twenties or just before becoming 30) At this point, everyone is starting to date long-term, and some may be getting married and having kids. Then you become that guy (or gal) with no one…

You risk ending up alone

Because of your partner-hopping in your younger days, you may end up alone for various reasons. If you live in a small town, your reputation has essentially been destroyed. No one wants that used toy everyone has already played with. Your value to the other person diminishes because everyone has already had that “value”. (Yes, this happens to guys later on in life too)

Once they think that you would have sex with almost anyone, they’ll also see you as potentially unloyal (and you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who sees you as unloyal, all the stress and problems that causes deserves a full post by itself). Personally, I hate to think about getting old, but it’s going to happen someday, and some of us are going to be better off than others.

I understand that you’re scared of the regret of not enjoying your youth, but also realize that you won’t remember late night flings when you’re older (shit, you won’t remember them 2 years later). You’ll more regret not having a life companion, wasting your life not achieving your goals, having kids with random mofos, and having a STD. So weigh every decision. TC mark

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