For quite some time now I have been preparing myself for the next time we meet. I’ve been practicing… patiently waiting.
The next time we meet I will stay where I am. I will not run to you and crave for your arms to be wrapped around me. I will not take a single step forward to be the one to close the distance between the two of us. You will be surprised because the girl who once would follow you to the depths of the ocean or even to hell would just stay where she is.
The next time we meet I will smile at you. A genuine smile that was actually one of the reasons why you wanted me long before I could remember. You will wonder why I was happy to acknowledge your presence yet you will not understand why.
The next time we meet I will start a conversation with you. I will ask you about the weather and about your sister. You will be lost for words because the last time you heard my voice, I was begging you to stay with me.
The next time we meet will be the time for you to meet the person who will thank you for letting me go. You will be surprised of how similar the two of you are, yet how different I was, and I can be, when I am with each of you. You will see the light in my eyes that used to be caused by you. Then there will be a flashback of memories that will play in your head, and these memories will hunt you. You will desperately try to remember at what point all hell broke loose between us. You will force yourself to think at what point we went wrong, at what point we lost something we worked so hard for. You will dread the day you decided to give up on us.
The next time we meet will be the time you will, after a long time, miss being loved by the girl who would’ve done anything to give you the world. You would miss the feel of my cheeks between your palms, you would miss my voice forcing you to take your meals on time, you would miss me calling you at night just to tell you to go to sleep. And you will regret taking for granted those days when there was that one girl who was dead afraid to lose you.
And, Darling, the next time we meet you will realize that you have carelessly thrown away the few and far between chances of being with someone who would have love you more than she could ever love herself.