I got used to you being so proud of me. How you would tell everyone that I am God’s gift to you, that I am just so perfect and you can’t live without me. Your friends envy you for having a partner that’s so sweet and pretty. It’s overwhelming, I know the feeling, because you are that man who’s not afraid to let his partner know that he feels lucky to have her, but dear, let me tell you this – you are not the lucky one. I am.
A few years ago, I was that girl who hated herself. I was so disappointed in what I did. How I chased a guy and allowed him to destroy me. I lost my self-respect. I stopped doing the things I loved. I cried myself to sleep every night, scowling at myself, asking “Why did I allow these things to happen to me?” I knew I was better than that. I was better than that girl who texted the guy who dumped her, begging him to stay and deciding that it was her fault, despite the crystal clear fact that it was his.
I know I was better than that, but I allowed it to happen anyway.
And so, I built walls. I told myself that I was better by myself and that I didn’t need anyone else. I got used to blaming myself for being trapped in this shitty situation. I accepted it – the idea that I was not meant for someone. That I would be forever trapped in the walls I built and that no one could save me.
But you did.
You came in like a hurricane and you smashed down my walls. I told you I was damaged, I was not worthy of love, but you were indifferent. You kissed the scars I had that time never healed. You broke the chains off the monster that was living in my heart for years. You held me so close and the hatred disappeared. You wiped the tears from my eyes and told me I was beautiful, despite of the ugly past I had. You carried me, and together, we walked away from the broken debris.
You stopped me from looking back.
You think you’re lucky because you have me, but you’re not. Darling, you are not the lucky one here. I am.
It is me, I am the lucky one, for I have met someone like you with a love that is so pure. You saw me at my worst and you chose to love me anyway. You made me gain everything I lost. You didn’t just teach me to love you, you also taught me to love myself too.
You made me feel alive then, and you make me feel alive now.
And for that, I’ll always tell you. I love you, and I am beyond blessed to have you in my life.