We all pretend we are happy; we are over “her” but are we truly over her? Can we truly put aside our feelings and just smile each day when we see that one person who means a lot to us?
We choose to believe that sometimes it’s easier to sleep at night if we just put it all behind us, and move forward, but could you see into her gaze and tell yourself that this is not who you want to see anymore or this is not how you want to feel any more about her?
Our mind tells us it’s never going to work; it’s never going to go back to being normal. The word “Normal” went out the window a long time ago, now we just pretend everything is okay each time you see her, that you want the best for her, you help her, you laugh with her, you grow with her each day, you become the pillar that she falls back on when she needs someone for advice or just a normal talk. You become that “friend” she can rely on.
Her happiness means the world to you, that you’re willing to sacrifice everything just to ensure she’s happy. No one understands why you do certain things even when you know you’re never going to get anything back.
You stop expecting, you’re in that moment in life where you feel I’m happy at least I got see her, whatever happens to her good or bad you try to control your emotions and try to react normally like every friend does but within, you’re just screaming in pain knowing that this is all you’ll ever mean to her.
In life, we don’t always have control over how the outcomes play out but we choose to make the best out of it, at any given moment, even if it means putting aside everything that makes you who you are, you’ll still do it just because at the end of the day it’s still worth having her in your life.
And lastly, sometimes it’s because you’ve been through it already, the feeling of losing someone you really care about, and you’re so afraid it’s going to end up the same way if you tell her how you feel about her.
That fear consumes you, you go back into hiding, that safe place where you know no one can reach you and you pretend everything is okay. That smile you put on at every start of the day because she’s truly worth every second of your day.