Have you ever had someone try to suck all the life out of you and temporarily felt like they didn’t leave you with anything? Have you ever felt like you cared so much for someone and freely gave them all of your time, but to them you possessed no value? You called them every day, you showed up when they asked, but it still seemed as if you were nonexistent unless they needed you for something.
I don’t know about you, but I have.
I have often allowed the wrong people to come into my life and consume my thoughts and take up all of my time at what seemed like the right moment.
It’s funny how the predator knows when the prey is most vulnerable. The right enemies know how to sweep you off your feet and make you feel like you are the most valuable person in the world just to eventually bring you to your lowest point.
I have felt so low that there were days I begged God for a new life. I wanted to die. And I’m sorry for the person that is reading this and feels like this is too transparent, but I have come to grips that I am nothing more than human. So sometimes I don’t need to hear people say it will get better or that I am over exaggerating the situation. Sometimes it’s just very difficult to feel bright when you are fighting the demons of the now just to realize that the present demon is connected to the past.
So, what I am saying is I don’t need pity. I don’t need for someone to brag about how strong they are or inform me of how weak I am. I just need a moment. I need a moment that will feel like a decade but allows me to freeze time so that I can just breath. So that I can empty my head and focus on the future. Because in reality, I know I will be okay and I better without them anyway. I just need a moment.