This Is How To Truly Please A Man In Bed (From A Man’s Perspective)

Petr Ovralov

So, you want to learn how to make his toes curl, his fists clench and see him pull the most twisted, contorted orgasm face he’s ever experienced? I’m going to show you.

Before we get going, I have a few misunderstandings about truly pleasing your man in bed that need addressing…

Firstly, you must understand that there is no one, perfect technique. There is no magic pill. You won’t reach bedroom Shangri-La through whispering one powerful, filthy line in his ear. The true key to pleasuring your man like he’s never experienced, is understanding that you are relying on a combination of factors in your control and outside your control. I’m talking about what you physically do, how well you communicate with your man, your state of mind, your man’s state of mind, how long since the last time your man ejaculated and so much more.

So sometimes you can do everything right, but because your man is stressed about work he just doesn’t enjoy himself.

Another misunderstanding that trips up many women when figuring out how to pleasure your man is thinking that all men are the same. Both you and I know that everyone is different. We all have different kinks, fantasies and peculiarities. Some guys love nothing more than to eat your ass for hours, while others would wretch at the thought. So if you previously got great results with a certain hand job technique, don’t expect it to work equally well on your new man.

Lastly, and most importantly, is understanding that great sex is a two way street. Your job is not to be your man’s sex bot, only concerned with pleasing him in bed, while he’s lazy about returning the favor. If you notice that he’s starting to care less and less about your sexual satisfaction, then you’ll need to talk to him about the imbalance.

Now, lets get to the juicy stuff…

Spontaneous Sex Or A Slow, Agonizing Build Up

These are two great ways for making sex red hot. Here’s why:

Spontaneous Sex

Although hard to plan, spontaneous sex is not only incredibly exciting and fun, it can leave you with some of the best memories to return to when you find yourself alone

Spontaneous sex is hard to plan (the name should be a giveaway). Thankfully there are few ways to make it more likely to happen.

New places – Camping, going on vacation, staying in a hotel or even staying in a new place in your town make spontaneous sex much more likely to happen. It’s all because, being in a new location automatically makes you more susceptible to trying new things. Psychologically, you are removed from your routine, making spontaneous sex all the more likely.

A drink or a smoke – Alcohol is a very easy way to loosen yourself up and most of us can attribute it to some very satisfying, pleasurable and often unexpected sex. But alcohol is not for everyone. If you live in a state where marijuana is legal, then that can also have a somewhat similar, but different effect

There are a bunch of other great strategies that will make spontaneous sex more likely, but the above two are by far the easiest and most reliable.

The Slow Build Up

If spontaneous sex doesn’t appear to be on the cards, then you need to learn how to build sexual tension and anticipation or what I like the the “slow build up.”

The whole point behind a slow build up to sex with your man is to have him quivering with excitement and anticipation so he is literally dragging you to the bedroom and who doesn’t want that?

Let’s dive into the specifics on how to make it happen…

Build sexual tension – By far the most important technique you should be using is sexual tension. It’s that hard-to-describe feeling between you and your man where you just want to rip each others clothes off. Sexual tension happens when your emotions are heightened, but you can’t consummate them.

It’s that feeling you get when your man whispers something dirty in your ear while you’re at dinner together, but haven’t even got your appetizer.

It’s that rush you experience when your man unexpectedly kisses you passionately as you leave for work in the morning, and it leaves you thinking about him all day.

It’s the fantastic feeling you get when your man starts teasing you and you tease him back.

Building sexual tension over a number of weeks with your man will turn him into the equivalent of a dog staring at a juicy steak. His mind will only be able to think about one thing, you.

Never stop flirting – Flirting is sexual tension’s cousin. It’s very similar and it can help to dramatically intensify the build up with your man. Watching two people flirt is very much like watching two puppies play-fight. There’s lots of jumping around, theatrics and joking. Just remember that the aim of flirting is not to hurt your man, just to play with him.

Flirting with your man can be as simple as rolling your eyes dramatically when he starts talking about his favorite sports team again. It can be sneaking up behind him and pinching his bum when he’s not expecting it. It can be playfully pushing him away when he’s said something a little risqué.

Flirting is easy at the start of a new relationship, the hard thing is to keep it going once things become routine.

Not only is flirting a great way to build up the sexual tension with your man, it will make sex a lot more pleasurable for both of you when you eventually get each other alone.

Messages – Another great way to intensify the build up with your man is to send him messages throughout the week when you’re not around to keep his mind focused on you and eagerly awaiting when he can be with you.

Saying something as simple as, “I had a very fun dream about you last night” or “I was thinking about you last night before I went to sleep” are both fantastic ways to keep his mind racing and obsessed with you. The fact that these messages aren’t explicit actually makes them more powerful. His mind will naturally fill in the blanks, wondering exactly how dirty your dream was and what you were doing in bed before you fell asleep.

So we’ve talked about what to do beforehand to make sure you deeply pleasure your man.

Now, let’s get to the act itself.

His Playbook

I could list hundreds different sex tips, techniques and positions that you could try on your man, whether that’s a particular position helps you orgasm, a certain technique for giving your man a good blow job, or a new way to stimulate his prostate. Most of these techniques will work fine, some will not work at all and only a few will truly please your man so much so, that he’ll be fantasizing about it for years to come.

Rather than guessing what few techniques will blow your man’s mind, it’s a lot easier to ask simply ask him.

Ideally you’ll have a trusting enough relationship that you can just openly ask your man what he wants and what he finds most sexually satisfying, but often you need to take a more circuitous route to finding out what he likes most.

  • You can talk to him right after sex and ask him what he wished you did more of or less of.
  • You can send him links to articles you find online and ask him what he thinks of them.
  • You can give him and either/or choice. Eg: rim job or foot job.

The key with all of this is figuring out what method works best for you and your man. It will take a lot of experimentation and a little bit of frustration, but if you keep going, you’ll eventually arrive at a point where you know his every kink, turn on and fantasy. This way you will always know how to totally and completely pleasure your man every time. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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