Guys, we know first dates can be a nerve-racking experience for both parties. Often times, the anxiety can rival an important job interview, or a public speaking engagement. And while a long courtship is a laudable method to dating, here are some quick conversation starters that’ll have you two jumping into bed in no time. Don’t be afraid to scribble a few of these out on index cards to have on hand the next time you’re ready to hit the dating scene!
1) Talk about your cat. Women love cats. Have at least 15 or 20 pictures ready on your phone, and ideally a couple of videos. Have a mini-anecdote for each one, prefaced with, “oh, and he does this one thing where…” If you get a chance, make sure she knows the origins of his name. Nothing is cuter than a story about bringing home Sir Reginald during a Family Matters marathon! Bonus points if you have multiple nicknames for your cat that you can rattle off at a moment’s notice.
2) Your improv group. Laughter is the quickest way to someone’s heart. Show your love for comedy by discussing your improv group at length. Let her in on the details behind the inside joke that prompted its name. Tell her about the killer venues you perform in, and how many people came to your last show. And make sure she knows how electric the chemistry is between you and Sara.
3) Your veganism. Chicks dig compassion, so even if you’re not in it for the animal welfare, let her know how much you just don’t want to contribute to the cycle of cruelty inherent in the factory-farming culture. Bonus points if you take her to a restaurant where everything is locally sourced.
4) Your favorite local musicians. Ideally, this conversation should only be approached if you’re confident she won’t be familiar with the artists you want to talk about. You’ll want to preface the conversation with your thoughts on how awesome it would be to broaden her horizons and give her new experiences.
5) Your screenplay. If your improv group isn’t really taking off, this is easily the next best thing. Let her know how arduous the creative process is, and how super-dedicated you have to be to make it in “the biz” (alternatively, you may call it “the industry” or, if you live in L.A., “this town.”) Make sure to talk about your biggest inspirations, and tease her by dropping some juicy secrets about what might happen in the third act. But make sure she knows you’ve never shared them with anyone else.
6) Fact Drop. Did you know the tomato is actually a fruit? Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine? Columbus didn’t actually discover America? The bigger Kansas City is actually in Missouri? Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” isn’t really ironic? Women dig a keen intellect, and having some of these at the ready is a savvy way to show you really know your stuff.
7) Your Myers-Briggs score. Horoscopes and astrological signs are so yesterday. Are you an INTJ? An ENFP? Make sure you know what you are, and all about what it means. Make sure she knows that introverts are actually super-creative and intelligent and caring, and not at all reserved shut-ins. And that you two should definitely hit it off.
8) Who Does She Remind You Of. Women, especially ones on a first date, love to be compared to other people. If she’s just like your old dorm floormate, let her know, and let her know how that’s totally a good thing. If she’s just like your last ex, it’s still okay to compare her as long as it’s favorable; just make sure to refer to the your ex as “an old friend” instead.
9) Your 1997 Toyota Corolla. Nothing says empowerment like having the independence of your own ride. Environmentalism is in, so let her know all about your 29 miles per gallon highway to start. If that doesn’t get her going, toss in a remark about how all your friends agree it has a surprising amount of rear-seat leg room. In no time, she’ll be asking for a ride home just to sample the multi-change CD player!
10) Pop Culture Quotes. This is a surefire way to show your strong sense of humor and wit and demonstrate your cultural awareness. Tell her your apartment has many leather bound books and smells of rich mahogany. If she gets the reference, you’re golden! And if she doesn’t, you have the perfect “in” to rebound with a “you’re killing me, smalls!” And if she still doesn’t get it? Well, “alllllllllllllllllllllllllrighthy then!”
This list isn’t exhaustive though, folks. Don’t be afraid to improvise. Use the most interesting tool at you disposal: yourself. Your date wants to hear all about you, in hilariously rich detail. Dust off some old inside jokes. Tell her about that authentic piece of coal you have from the Titanic’s bunkers above your bed. And don’t be afraid to have a couple of “you had to be there” anecdotes to fire off at a moment’s notice. If you can put all of these ideas into motion, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be “coming in” for a cup of coffee after every first date…if you catch my drift!