Let’s Talk About Attraction And What It Really Is

Flickr / Chiara Cremaschi
Flickr / Chiara Cremaschi

Attraction. It is the soul reason you are here on this earth, at this very moment. Attraction is the reason why your grandfather finally decided to gather up his courage to speak to your grandmother. This is the driving force that has kept our human race alive for so many thousands of years. Well, mostly the reason why. There are a few exceptions. So what is it about attraction that is so influential to us humans, in what we do and how we think?

First and foremost, attraction is based off of chemical reactions occurring in your brain. Some scientists have said that it only takes three seconds for the mind to become attracted to another person. Others say it takes between a minute to four minutes. This, I can say from personal experience, seems to be true. When your brain finds someone attractive, a few main neurotransmitters become involved. Adrenaline kicks in, and this is what causes your heart to flutter and your palms to become sweaty. Then good ol’ dopamine takes it’s turn. It causes your brain to feel rushes of pleasure, much like cocaine use. Finally, serotonin keeps you feeling happy and blissful with your new found beau.

All that physiological talk on how the brain acts while attracted to another person is interesting and all, but deep down, some of us wonder what else causes us to become attracted to another. After all, most good love songs and poetry can be based off attraction. The idea of one being attracted enough to another person, someone who is just a sack of bones and flesh, is baffling to me. It isn’t something we really question or think about. It’s just something that happens. It’s natural. It’s uncomplicated. Well that last one may be a lie, considering how much time is spent thinking in circles about whether or not we are attracted to someone and if it is for our own good. So I decided to ask a few people on why they think we are attracted to one another, from a non-scientific standpoint.

I decided to begin with my mother. She overflows with wisdom, so it seemed natural to seek her sage advice. She said that initially, she believes that it’s the other person’s appearance which draws you in. There’s something about them that catches your eye. But attraction doesn’t stop there. It’s when you begin getting to know the person, that’s when true attraction develops. Personality is what keeps you coming back for more. This is why you see beautiful, supermodel-esque women with people you would never imagine them ending up with. As superficial as it sounds, we all have seen this happen before. I would have to agree with my mother on this point. Personally, I have found myself choosing to be with a man, who may not look like Channing Tatum’s twin brother, but can make me laugh until I have a six pack. So this leads to the question, is attraction based on looks alone, or is it based off of something more?

I asked this question to my close friend and after running around the question a few times, came to the conclusion that there is something that draws us towards one another. That something can be only described in his world as energy. We’ve all been there before. We feel drawn, maybe even compelled, to be close to someone, whether it be a stranger across the room or a childhood friend. Others may give a scientific reasoning behind this phenomenon, such as pheromones. But us dreamers and romantics like to describe this irresistible desire to be around another person, this magnetic attraction that occurs between people, as some sort of spiritual energy. Something from within is bringing yourself to see this person in a different light. Some say it’s fate that causes you to be attracted to another. Others say you were predestined to meet this person and fall for them. Whatever the case may be, whatever your own personal belief is, I hope we can all agree that attraction is a divine distraction from this otherwise chaotic world. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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