I am one such woman who has learnt her lessons on love and life the hard way, through a path of heartbreaks and pain and depression. I have been in a series of bad, long relationships, which did change my life but also helped me mellow.
Yes, that’s what pain can do to you.
It makes you understand relationships, your surroundings and your soul so much better. So, today I am thankful for the excruciating experiences that I have been through cause they make me the person you see, my dear love.
Though I got my heart broken to pieces and traded upon, I managed and succeeded to rebuild that heart, heal it enough to feel you. To prepare it enough so that it can blossom at your appearance, enjoy the little details of your presence, savor them and love without any trace of bitterness left. It is a feat and I still wonder sometimes at the nightmares I have come across, bare feet and weaponless.
You, like me, have been through a lot too in life, in terms of pain, love and loss. You are much like me yet we have our individual traits, both qualities and faults.
I would like you to know that I admire you for your entirety, as a whole, as the summation of all the heartbreak, pain, guilt, dilemmas and everything else that you have felt and continue to feel.
You are a big part of my soul, the half of it. As a result, I will love you fiercely, I will be protective, I will cook your favorite meals for you and can do anything to see you happy, growing as a person and content.
I have been in hell and back, so sometimes those memories of pain, not people, but pain, bring me down. I might ask you a few too many times if you feel the same way. If you want to spend the eternity with me, exploring each day with tremendous enjoyment, enthusiasm and feeling of blessedness, as I am ready to do. But, I will also sit beside you, arranging the puzzle pieces of life; I will die to see one smile through your gloom, when you are feeling down.
I am hopelessly romantic, with high ideals. I will call you many times just to chat but also give you the space to hang out with friends, chase your dreams, to learn and evolve. The thing is we have both been damaged.
We both are believers in love. We are healing.
It is an ongoing process. I will not wait at the end of the road to meet you and begin our journey. I will walk step to step, holding you. All I ask from you is to be totally unafraid. We may argue, fight and brood, but we will do it together, without giving up on each other. Because, you and no one else I found to be so close to my heart in innocence, generosity, humility and humanity.
I am most myself around you. We can talk in tongues of poetry, music and also talk trash like maniacs. We have so much to learn, so much to see, so much to hear and so much to be. I am excited. If it is going to be a roller coaster ride, fine! I am in with gusto, with every skipped heart beat and surge of adrenaline.
My love, don’t lose hope, life is beautiful, more so when I see it with your eyes.
I want to see more and more. Don’t worry, your heart has loved well in the past and those moments are now immortal, so there is nothing to lose any more. Hold my hand and let’s make a whole new world from scratch. I don’t expect it to be easy. I want it to be as magical as you and I are capable of making it, and I know that’s not little at all.