When The Perfect Guy For You Isn’t Perfect At All

It’s the NCAA Hockey championships and the energy in the stadium is incredible. The boy of your dreams is in the seat next to you and you find yourself stopping a moment to admire how much he loves this sport. After dating jerk, after heart-breaking jerk you know you deserve this incredible guy one who treats you with the kindness you deserve. He’s everything you should want out of a guy and you realize that on first sight.

But even the nice guys aren’t necessarily going to end up perfect. After getting romantically screwed over time and time again, we look for what we think we deserve but don’t seem to find what we need. It seems to be the flaw of all single girls who have had their fair share of heartbreaks. I’ll be first to admit that I like guys that give me what I know I deserve but not necessarily what I want or need. And here he was, exactly the guy you deserved sitting in the seat next to you.

Everything about it was perfect, you were told by your friends that you liked each other, and here you were convinced this would be the time you got it right. The game came to a close a final shot and a terrible shot decided the entire game. The arena raged with the excitement of Providence College winning their National Championship, the excitement was endless. As college students took to the streets on your college campus you were engulfed in the exhilaration and in that moment all of it felt so incredibly right.

The evening dies down as you get back to campus late enough that it’s become a ghost town. You’re walking back to your college dorm, back to the real world and mundane daily life that awaits after a good night’s sleep. The crisp night air whips around you, giving the air a chill that your sweater can’t protect you from. You look up to watch him laugh, his blue eyes twinkling under the lampposts that lined the pathway to your doorstep. You keep thinking about how grateful you are to finally have got it right.

The two of you chat, as the steps to the door come quicker than expected. Your hands graze as they dangle by your sides, but neither of you makes the move to go for the handhold. It was one of those limitless moments where anything in the world could happen, and it would be okay. As you stood outside the door you thanked him for walking you back and murmured a casual “see you tomorrow”. Going in for the hug, and he looks at you, your stomach does flip-flops while anxiety pumps through your veins. Gravity pulls his face closer and closer to yours as the moment slows down, seconds begin to feel like hours. The nervousness set in, you’ve been waiting for this moment for weeks. The only thought crossing your mind as his lips met yours was finally.

Immediately your eyelids flutter open from the complete shock of how wrong this moment, this kiss, felt on your lips. He was uncomfortably slurping and forcing his tongue down your throat in a manner that didn’t even seem possible. Weeks of hanging out and cute daily texts had boiled down to this horrific moment and this disgusting good night kiss.

Pulling away, you force a goodnight squeak to him before escaping inside the safety of your dorm building. You did everything except run to the elevator desperately wanting to rid that ruined moment from your memory.

The days following leave in you in complete confusion, you want to like him for everything he was before that kiss, but you can’t. You keep asking yourself how you can like him when there’s no longer any physical attraction. It’s the moment when the mirror shatters and you realize this perfect thing you wanted could never be. And that’s the problem, when we want things to be perfect they never end up that way. Perfect guys nice or not don’t exist because none of us are perfect. So what happens when the perfect guy isn’t perfect anymore? Just move on. He’ll never live up to your expectations of perfection. But I promise some guy will come along and be everything you need and harbor none of the qualities you thought you wanted. Love, relationships and life are funny because you never see any of it coming. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog