Growing up in a large family is usually pretty cool. There’s always someone to go play put-put with and you’ve got a guaranteed group of people forced to love you. The more the merrier, right?
However, there are many unique challenges that people who grew up in large families have to deal with. For example, it’s impossible to explain your relationship with snack foods to anyone that didn’t have to split one oatmeal cream pie between three kids.
So there’s the food thing, and a slew of other eccentricities that you can blame on growing up in a family that is too large for its own good.
Check out 13 tell-tale signs you grew up in a crazy large family:
1. “Wait – how many siblings do you have?”
It’s hard to be sure…. Maybe 7? I lost track years ago. Might have even lost one years ago…
2. You scoped out the neighborhood kids with the best snacks and instantly tried to make friends with them.
Listen, your parents never filled the house with luxuries like snack foods. If you were ever going to find out what a genuine Swiss Roll tasted like, you were going to have to press your new neighbor friend for one.
3. You NEVER shared your neighborhood friend with any of your siblings.
Kids in big families have to share everything. There was no reason to share your Little Debbie’s with another sib if you didn’t have to.
You didn’t understand the meaning of “picky eater” until you were in high school.
You lived in a household with no leftovers. In fact, you ate every meal in under two minutes. Why? Your life was the Hunger Games, and you were not getting seconds unless your plate was clean before everyone else’s. To turn down food for any reason was absurd. Pass those Lima beans, Ma!
Dibs applied to anything in your large household. The first slice of pizza, the first one in the bathroom in the morning, calling your favorite spot on the couch — anything and everything was reserved with dibs.
Unfortunately, your parents could veto dibs, which made getting drunk with Dibs power less likely.
As an adult, you still call dibs. Call dibs on mom’s book collection when she dies, call dibs on not being the designated driver. You’ll always reserve your right to first selection with dibs.
5. Your parents called out every single siblings name before they reached yours.
Getting yelled at in your home was confusing. Your mom ran through the entire list of names before getting to yours. You and your siblings lined up – anxious as though you were standing in front of a Chinese firing squad– waiting to find out which one was actually in trouble.
To this day you never return your mom’s phone calls. She probably didn’t mean to call you anyway.
6. Approval for any activity outside the home was contingent upon bringing along another sibling.
“You can go … IF you take your sister with you.”
Your sibs did everything with you. They went on dates with you, went prom dress shopping with you and your friends, even insisted on going in the store with you for a tampon run. It’s safe to say you never experienced anything on your own.
7. You have a perpetual fear of not being able to find your shoes.
If you came from a large household, you knew missing shoes was the source of many fights and missed doctor’s appointments. An m.i.a Mary Jane even resulted in losing the perfect attendance award in elementary school.
You’re not bitter about that or anything. Fucking missing shoe…
Now you’re obsessive about keeping your shoes in order. They are organized, perfectly taken care of, and you even invested in insane technology that keeps your laces tied in fear of being late, which you always are.
8. You’re chronically late.
Being punctual was not a skill you acquired from your parents. You still get vivid flash backs of your mom laughing and waving from the bleachers while you ran your extra laps for being late to practice — again.
9. You can’t stand the thought of having a roommate as an adult.
You shared a room with at least one sibling until you were well pass puberty. You’ve experienced mornings when you headed to the bathroom to brush your teeth, only to find that your toothbrush was already wet.
You’ve lived through a special kind of hell with your siblings, and there’s no reason why you should have to repeat it with a roommate.
10. You covet alone time.
You’ve never understood people that can’t do things alone. Growing up, alone time was accomplished only by getting sent to the corner. Even then you thought, “Hey, this is nice.”
Naturally, you can’t image why women flock to the bathroom together in droves, why your friends invite you over because they “don’t want to be alone”, or why running errands sounds like more fun as a pair.
The fuck?! This is not you. You can’t function properly without getting in some hardcore ME time each week.
11. “Are You Catholic?”
No, I’m not freaking Ca – alright, yes. Yes, I’m Catholic.
12. You didn’t fly on a plane until you were well into your twenties.
Your parents had more than half a dozen children and that means no money for air fare, honey. Every vacation meant driving for hours upon hours in a vehicle that didn’t even fit your whole clan. Double buckling, anyone?
13. Your siblings grew up to be your best friends.
Considering the fact that you have enough siblings to field a baseball game, you never had to look far for a buddy growing up. Now that you’re all (mostly) adults, you’ve found that your sibs are still the best friends you’ve ever had.
They were there when you peed your pants in the back of mom’s van on the way back from softball practice, and they were there when you drunk peed your pants in the back of that taxi. They still choose to spend time with you knowing full well that you’ve got almost no control of your bodily functions. That’s love.