Being a husband isn’t a list of dos and don’ts.
Being a husband is who you choose to become.
It’s leaving selfishness behind and growing empathy. It’s becoming a protector. It’s being a safe place for your wife to come to when emotionally, she’s down for the count. It’s becoming the provider — and not just providing in monetary ways, but providing your wife with an invaluable constant in her life.
You provide her strength when she is weak, courage when she is scared, and affection when she feels alone.
You become her rock. Her hero. Her everything.
That’s a big responsibility for most but an honor held among the men who choose it.
To be a husband is to remind the world that chivalry is not dead and to love your wife as the biggest priority in your life.
You do all of this not out of obligation to your title as a husband but because you love her.
You do it because you can’t help but do it.
When you’re a husband, all these things come naturally to you.
Sometimes you may need to remind yourself why you married her in the first place, but stay focused on the love you have for her and the amazement you have for who she is and it will come easy to you.
If these things don’t come naturally to you, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’re not a husband, regardless of what contract you signed, regardless of the ring on your finger.
If you are selfish and only show your wife love when it’s convenient for you, you’re not a husband. If you lack consideration for her feelings and shut her down when she tries to share her feelings with you, you’re not a husband. If you never outwardly express appreciation for the things she does for you, you’re not a husband. If “sorry” is not in your vocabulary, you are not a husband. If you don’t call your wife beautiful and show her that you want her, you are not a husband.
She will wind up feeling alone. Isolated.
The distance between the two of you will grow bigger and bigger until eventually she gives up.
She gives up trying to get your attention. She gives up throwing herself at you and hoping something sticks. She gives up cleaning after you. She gives up asking you for anything. She gives up wanting to share her days with you. She gives up trying to talk to you. She gives up wanting to be around you. She gives up wanting to be wanted by you.
She stops chasing you. She stops loving you and moves on.
It hurts when you’re only a convenience. It hurts when you only show affection when you want something. It hurts knowing that you may love her but she can’t tell from your actions.
You will lose her completely.