I fed your ego and you destroyed mine. I think I could have been anybody to you. I was a warm body and gave you the affection that you craved. I fulfilled your desires but you never wanted my heart and when I exposed it to you, you immediately broke it.
When I met you I threw away all my values out the window and let down every single guard that protected me. You kept me in your back pocket and brought me out to play when you were feeling lonely.
Like a doll, I gave you everything you wanted and more and when you wanted your space, I then sat on the shelf and waited for you to return. I hung onto every single word you said to me and every moment I swear I could feel you reciprocating what I felt. Even when you wouldn’t come back for a while once you did I greeted you with open arms and an open heart.
Being around you got me high and every single time I walked out your door, I came back down. Sustaining the high was easier than cutting you out because even though you weren’t truly mine, having a piece of you was better than imagining not having you at all. Having a piece of you meant having a piece of hope. Hope that dangled right in front of my eyes every day, my thoughts feeding it and my dreams keeping the idea of us alive.
I wanted to be the one to end it and you managed to strip me from the one thing I felt was mine to have. After all, why would you be the one to end this? You had everything you could ever want with absolutely zero commitment, but you still dropped me out of your life as if our hearts had never even crossed paths.
Every story you told me about people from your past contained hurt, sadness and betrayal. I now know that you stole my kindness and my love from my beating heart and healed your own. I was your crutch. You used me when you were hurt and once that hurt was gone, you had no need for me anymore.
Your heart now bandaged back together, I lay here with the after math. You left me to clean up the pieces of my now broken heart that was destroyed unwillingly.
It’s such a shame for so much good intended love to get poured down the drain and wasted. My only remaining hope is that the love you took from me turns into something I once imagined for us.