A relationship should not complete you. Completing you is dependence and the only person you can every fully depend on is yourself. If you are going to be in a relationship it should be joyous all the time. By joyous I do not mean one of those people you claim to be over the moon happy and giddy all the time which whom you secretly want to punch in the face.
However the most present emotion you should feel when involved with somebody, should be effortless happiness. You don’t give your heart to another only to add stress, anxiety and heart break into your life. You engage in a relationship for the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.
The problem with relationships is we believe that as soon as the honeymoon stage is over, then comes in the work we need to do to keep that relationship. Work to keep the spark alive, to get along well and to deal with our partners annoying habits. I truly believe because we have set this norm in our society, we all follow willingly.
Relationships should be easy, fun and peaceful. It should just work, it should just be. Too many things in our life are way too damn complicated. We get ourselves involved in situations that drain us, we have family obligations, work issues and money problems. But relationships – shouldn’t be one of those things. We should not have to sacrifice, change or be someone were not.
Fighting with somebody is completely useless. Waste of both your energy and time. Now I am not saying that you will agree on everything with your partner, but if you’re truly in the right relationship there will be other ways to express your concerns. This brings me to my next point, an open heart. No boundaries, completely limitless and open.
We didn’t just come here to attain success and have excessive amounts of material items; we came here to fulfill our souls. I think fulfilling your life is following your heart and loving unconditionally. Anyone who claims that deep down that is not what they want, is either in denial or in denial. Real genuine love that awakens everything inside your being. Without that, what do we have left to gain? What do we have left to give?
We are so shaped by our past. We often say that our ex’s don’t matter and past relationships mean nothing to us now, usually with a snappy voice and a heavy heart. But this is so far from the truth. They do matter. They sometimes matter more than your present one because we often carry our feelings onto the next relationship. We are all vulnerable, damaged and carry the weight around with us. A heavy bag that you carry will never be lighter until you unload it.
When starting a new relationship we need to lay it all out from the beginning before things turn into an after effect of our past experiences. Express how we have been hurt, it is okay to admit your feelings of defeat to another. Defeat is not a curse, it’s a blessing.
My most beautiful moments with myself have come after being hurt. I have never felt more connected to my soul until after I experienced ultimate heart break. After feeling like it’s all over and you have lost yourself, sooner or later you realize it’s really only just begun.
Bottom line is we all came here for joy and happiness so why we waste years on relationships that are not working is beyond me. Save yourself the pain and treat your relationship as the simple thing it should be. Take control and do what’s right for your life, even if in the process it means hurting another soul.
Yes they will be wounded, but we all heal with time. In giving them the gift of pain, you have opened them up to experience joy. I don’t believe a relationship should ever be perfect as nothing is but I do know this, it should be a hell of a lot simpler then we make it out to be.