Fantasy is always assumed to be better than reality, but is it possible for reality to outdo the fairytale most girls wish to come true? Yes. If you find the right person, reality does outweigh fantasy, because it is reality. The love depicted in fairytales or your typical chick flick may be perceived as extraordinary, but actual, passionate, intimate, committed love is not.
How love makes you feel (if it is with the right person) is the part that is out of this universe.
I used to be one of “those girls.” The ones who dream of experiencing “that love.” The love where the popular, rich guy asks you to the prom or where the slipper magically fits. Obviously none of these things have come to fruition in my life. I attended high school and a look-alike of Chad Michael Murray did not sweep me off my feet at the Halloween Dance. I went to college and I did not meet an undercover prince in my science lab. I am no longer one of “those girls” nor do I want to be.
A friend once advised me to pluck any guy from the sea of men and build him into my perfect fairytale guy. Obviously this proposed idea would never work because in real life, perfection does not exist, nor should it. My “perfect” guy is flawed because he should not expect me to be perfect either. Perfection is stale and monotonous. Flaws are what keep a relationship on its tippy toes. Each day is a new adventure filled with eye rolls, annoyed expressions, and a deep love for a significant other’s imperfections.
Prince Charmings all come from the same breed (tall, dark, and handsome). Their personalities are written to include every desirable quality a princess (or teenage girl) should want. The guys depicted in Hollywood’s next big chick flick are unauthentic. Each fairytale love story follows the same path. It is easy to predict what happens next in a fairytale (ahem…happily ever after) but the randomness of life is what makes the journey exciting. I want the opportunity to write my own story, not live what someone else wrote. I don’t want to live the same memory every other girl wants to live . I want my memories to be just mine. There is a lot more value to an item that nobody else possesses.
I do not want a guy that is a 15/10, or one that lives in a castle and surprises you with romantic gestures he found off of Pinterest.
I want a guy who does not make me wonder about how he feels. Who does not make me feel insecure for texting him first. Who engages in the conversation I am having with him, and wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to him. I want a guy who makes me laugh and feel safe. A person I can describe as being iridescent. One who is happy with my dorky self because if I was not being a dingbat, he would know I was not being me. A guy who inspires and expects me to kick ass in life. I want to be able to say that they are the best person I know because they make me the best version of myself. My person will be one that is always by my side through the bad the ugly, and the amazing.
He might not turn out to be a prince, have a sword, or fight off dragons, but I will leave that for the books and movies. I am willing to deal with his loud burps, bad breath, and refusing to shut off the lights because those god-awful annoying habits make love real. When you can still love someone deeply at a point in which they annoy or anger you, it confirms your feelings and loyalty to that person. Loving someone for their good qualities anyone can do, loving someone for their entirety is how relationships form and remain strong.
It is a choice of what kind of love a person wishes to experience in their lifetime. I choose reality.
And besides, I can save myself from the burning tower and scary dragon thank you very much.