Thank you for building me up, for convincing me that we could make it. Thank you for showing me that I could care about someone again, for bringing laughter back into my life. Thank you for reminding me what it was like to deeply and genuinely want to take care of someone else for the rest of their life, to prioritize someone into my life.
Thank you for bringing all of these things out from behind my high walls that I had built to keep all of those things hidden inside. Thank you for preparing me to choose to love you no matter the distance our lives were going to put between us.
Mostly, thank you for destroying all of those hopes. Thank you for distancing yourself from me as our chapter neared it’s end. Thank you for cutting me loose and telling me that “it wouldn’t have worked because I’ll be here and you’ll be there.” Thank you for telling me you wished you had met me sooner, even just a semester sooner would have made it easier for you.
Lastly, thank you for allowing me to be alone on the nights alcohol and your friends were more important, because in that time I encouraged myself to support you through the next trials in your life, I planned ways to make the distance feel less lonely, and I prepared to give you my all. I wanted this. But I thank you for doubting it, because now I know, our time was just a lesson.
Thank you for not allowing me the chance to implement all of those plans for you when you left, instead I stored them away for future reference. I have met my future. I fought off the thought of wanting someone who would soon leave me, much like you did, for the longest time.
I feared what it would feel like to be hurt the exact same way I was hurt when you left me. The difference is that not everyone is afraid to try, not everyone feels shackled by distance, but most importantly, my value is important to someone.
Thank you for giving someone else the opportunity to experience what I thought was meant for you, but really, you only prepared me to fight stronger and harder for someone worth the battle. Distance is not a dead end.