Here Are All The Ways Anxiety Medication Changed My Life

PSA: I’m no doctor, I’m just one case of how Lexapro helped change my life. 

For as long as I can remember, I had a million and one thoughts racing through my head:

Did I look ok?

Did I say something weird to my friend in that two-minute conversation yesterday?

Is that person thinking I’m weird?

Do they like me? 

As a kid, it would ebb and flow, sometimes very high to the point where calling someone on the phone to order pizza or ask someone a question was terrifying. Other times, I was Ms. Confident without a fear in the world.

In college, my anxiety grew with the stress of classes, living away, working and well life. I was always amazed how people around me could brush off the silly thing they did when they were over-served or text that guy without a second thought. On the outside, I was doing pretty well at fake it until you make it, but on the inside, I was on a high-speed wobble of anxiety.

Finally, at 23, I decided maybe I’ll try some medicine…long story short it didn’t happen. From there I remember being in Costa Rica, one of my favorite places, and still lingering in the background was my anxiety. Two weeks full of sunshine, surf, margaritas and the beach. Yet anxiety found its way in, leading to a full blown anxiety attack – tears, hyperventilating, the works, because we couldn’t get the sliding glass doors, closed during the middle of the day.

Whoa. 

I thought that was the breaking point where I would try medicine, but it wasn’t. I continued teaching and hit my breaking point one evening after moving. I was trying to pack up a classroom, pack up my apartment and move into a new one – cue panic attack with tears lying on my closet floor.

Thankfully, my mom 700 miles away stepped in and helped me find a doctor. A few days later, I met with her and discussed my anxiety and next steps. For me, I was very aware of my anxiety and had tried multiple other healthy ways to manage it.

I started on Lexapro daily and at first, the differences were subtle- less stress, sleeping better and no tingly arm sensations feeling like my skin was buzzing. Months and now years later I still have the ebb and flow of anxiety but it’s not nearly as close to what I felt before.

I don’t have the mind racing thoughts, the occasional panic attack, and I’m confident in myself. Lexapro allowed me to do the self-work I needed to be an even better version of myself.

A friend said to me that Lexapro is like “training wheels it allows you to ride the bike.” I totally agree, daily medication has allowed me to open up, gain clarity in my relationships, deal with confrontation and stressful situations and allowed me to be vulnerable without extreme anxiety or fear.

Anxiety medications are not for everyone. For me they help me dive deeper into the self-development and allow me to do more than I ever thought I could.