10 Little Ways Seamless Is The Best Boyfriend Ever

Laura Bittner
Laura Bittner

1. You can order, eat, and retrieve your food all without ever having to put on pants.

2. Even after ordering the Party-size Pizza and Garlic knot Combo for the last four nights in a row, Seamless never judges — If anything, repetitive gluttony is encouraged.

3. Instead of monopolizing your time, Seamless actually frees it up — Now you can focus on more important things, like Instagram and your Netflix queue.

4. You never have to worry about who’s paying—That’s right, Mama’s payin’!!

5. One word: Consistency. Seamless never stands you up, lets you down, or leaves you for someone better. Except that one time the driver gave the order to your neighbor.

6. Since you never buy groceries, those empty cupboards practically double your closet space.

7. Seamless never shows up late or drunk — It’s always on time, piping hot, and full of possibility.

8. Since you’ve never actually turned your stove on, not only are you saving mucho on gas, but you’ll never accidentally burn your apartment down — ain’t nobody got time for that!

9. Seamless gives and gives and gives. And besides a paltry 15% tip, it asks for nothing in return.

10. It’s pretty much guaranteed that Seamless can and will fulfill your needs. It will never get tired halfway through and check its phone fifty times and then fall asleep before getting you off… um… I mean… try the egg rolls! TC mark

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