What It Feels Like To Move Back Into Your Parent’s Basement

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1. It’s like a dog on a really long leash that doesn’t realize he’s on a leash, and so he’s chasing his dreams (a squirrel) at top speed, ears flopping, tongue flailing, tail wagging, and then… YANK. The end of the leash.

2. It’s like when you’re SO hungry at work all afternoon because you forgot to pack a lunch, but it’s okay! Because you know you had the best Chinese food last night and you still have half of it in your fridge.  But then you get home and your brother ate it and left only one single, limp bean sprout, just so he could say he didn’t eat all of it.

3. It’s like when you buy a sexy, sparkly New Year’s dress, shoes, etc. and you’re so excited to wear them!   And then you end up playing board games in your friend’s basement and never wearing the dress.  Ever. And it just stares at you. Every time you open your closet.

4) It’s like cruising down a sunny highway on your way to the beach with friends, a cooler of cold drinks, and a fresh summer playlist, and… you get a flat tire. And don’t have a spare.

5) It’s like getting a brand new iPhone and smashing the screen while texting on the toilet. Side note: they should carpet this area, because I have a hunch that this is where 80% of iPhone fatalities occur (it’s happened to me twice).

6) It’s like 10,000 spoons, when all you need is a knife. Alanis Morissette already wrote this article in 1996.

7) I imagine it’s a lot like what a boomerang must feel like.  Getting way up there in the sky and getting a taste of the good life, only to get sucked back to where you come from with the force of 1000 vacuums. And you are merely a dust bunny.

Metaphors are challenging.  To summarize what I’m trying to say here, is that it sucks!  I am absolutely romanticizing every dingy, shitty apartment I lived in throughout university. Even the moldy, basement apartment that had moustache-like centipedes.  I miss seeing my debit card get declined because I didn’t realize it was the first of the month and my rent cheque got cashed. And I daydream about the day that I have a stable enough bank account to get back out there to the shitty apartments of the big city once more!

All this being said, I must take a moment and realize how ridiculously lucky I really am.  How many people can say that their mom just lets them roll right back into their teenage bedroom after 5 years of absence, no questions asked?  Just think about the people who don’t have that option.  I would be absolutely screwed.  My mom hasn’t even asked me to pay rent! This is probably the last time in my life that I will be free of any rent/mortgage obligations until I die. UNTIL I DIE.

Navigating the terribly uncertain terrain of your 20’s is hard enough, and there is nothing better than knowing you have a family that is supportive enough to actually be happy that you are now existing in their basement.  Even though living in said basement has brought back your teen angst just as strongly as it was when you were actually a teen.  Is there science behind this? Environmentally-induced angst? Can reversion to the immature, bad-attitude ways of 17-year-old me be caused by a welcoming house, an unchanged bedroom, and a doting mother?

Take your time, save your money, and hatch a brilliant escape plan.  But don’t forget to stop and realize that this is probably the last time in your life you will ever live at home.

Sometimes all it takes is a blog post to realize that you really have nothing to complain about, and in reality, have everything to be thankful for. TC mark

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