As a relationship moves along, your life becomes increasingly intertwined with another human’s life. When things are going great between you two, this can be an exciting feeling, but in bad times it can leave you feeling trapped and alone. It makes you wonder: How would I get out? Is it even possible? Where would I go? How long would it take me to pack? How do I change my address?
When you break up with someone, you’re exhausted, upset, scared and hurt. It’s impossible to think straight and you don’t even know where to start. So having an action plan in place to help you deal with these questions can make you feel secure and powerful. It reminds you that you will be okay and that you’re never in any situation that’s too complicated to get out of.
Knowing the following is a good start:
1. Know where you would go! Would you stay with family or friends? Are you both on the lease, if so who would keep the apartment? Making a choice like this when you’re in collected state of mind is important.
2. Know where all your stuff is located throughout the apartment and have an estimate of how long it would take you to pack. If this has been a long-term relationship and you know you’ll need help moving, have a list of people who you know care about you and would be there in a heart beat to help you get the job done!
3. Have a list of all the investments, credit cards, bills and/or leases that you two have together. This takes a little bit of collaborating with your partner but it’s important to take care of things like this when emotions aren’t running high. You need to make sure you’re in the best possible position because you’re on your own now.
4. It’s okay to take care your best interests. You should ask yourself: Are you the one taking most of the financial risks and lifestyle changes? Are you giving up your apartment, moving far away from family and friends, and starting over in a new city? If you are, having a plan will allow you to be more of your true self without fear of losing everything if things don’t work out.
5. Lets be honest, love doesn’t conquer all. Love isn’t going to help you pack your things, pay your pills, or even help you make the best financial choices. No matter how much you love someone it isn’t going to make them want to be with you forever. One day you can be in love and the next day you can be on you own.