1. “That jacket looks amazing on you. It literally makes you look ten pounds thinner.”
Not the best way to start off a date, but it happened. Spoiler alert: I no longer speak to him.
2. “You’re such a good dresser that you can’t even tell you got bigger.”
My sister would never let me admit that she actually said this to me… Oh, wait! My bad.
3. “Make sure you show off your boobs. It’s your best asset right now.”
Apparently my best friend thought this would boost my confidence before going to a lunch where I was meeting my boss for the first time.
4. “It’s good. I can eat anything if I put sriracha sauce on it.”
My boyfriend’s way of telling me not to quit my day job for culinary pursuits.
5. “You look like Rachel Ray.”
I got a boob job three months later.