15 Reasons Why Newly Sober Addicts Are Totally Useless

photo by Craig Maltby
photo by Craig Maltby
  1. Our bodies don’t know how to convert food to fuel– We’ve been running on substances for so long we don’t know how to get energy from actual food.
  2. We don’t know how to do anything sober– You name it: Have sex, drive a car, do our jobs, cook dinner. Yep, we’ve been doing all of them fucked up for years.
  3. We are in mourning– We just lost our best friend. The thing that made life worth living, made it exciting, and picked us up when we were down is gone.
  4. We don’t know what we’re good at- Or if we can do the things we are good at sober. Maybe we only think we are good at them because we were high when we did them. We don’t know!
  5. We don’t know what will make us happy- Or if we will ever be happy again.
  6. We are paralyzed by emotional overload- And it’s going to take us awhile to learn the socially acceptable responses.
  7. Our artificial confidence is gone– Substances have a way of making us feel things (or not feel things).
  8. We are using all our energy on staying sober- Our brainpower is devoted to talking ourselves into staying on the right track.
  9. Our main motivation in life has been taken away– We no longer have our daily goal of using or trying to find our substance of choice.
  10. We feel as if we have nothing to look forward to- What’s the point of going to Uncle Tim’s house on Christmas Day if we can’t look through his medicine cabinet for some left over pain medication.
  11. It seems as if everyone knows what’s best for us– Why should I listen to you? We don’t know whose advice to listen to and its confusing the shit out us.
  12. You’re talking but we aren’t listening– You’re talking about the future, but all we hear is “sobriety sucks.”
  13. We feel entitled to check out– Because what’s the point of doing anything now? You just don’t know how hard this is or what we are going through.
  14. We are coming to terms with all the people we have hurt, bad things we have done, lies we have told, and embarrassing situations we have put ourselves in.

But, most importantly:

  1. We are in deep thought trying to decide on if or when we will be able to use again: For some, in time, these thoughts will pass. But for others they will prove too strong to ignore. TC mark

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