10 Ways Your Cleaning Lady Knows You’re Finally Getting Laid

Photo by Sarah Miller
Photo by Sarah Miller

1. Misplaced “love” notes – Be careful with this one. Your cleaning lady might file sexual harassment charges if she finds your “I want to be inside of you again…” note while she’s tiding up.

2. Extra supplies in the shower – Suddenly your solo bottle of Head & Shoulders turns into an elaborate Bath and Body Works display.

3. His-and-his sinks are now his-and-her sinks — The extra toothbrush gives it away every time.

4. You actually have food in your house – The empty pizza boxes have been replaced with non-expired milk and fresh fruit.

5. She starts finding “surprises” under, in, and/or around your bed — Condom wrappers, hair ties, and lace panties. You get the idea.

6. Both nightstands are being used — You never know what a girl will leave behind to mark her territory.

7. Half-filled wine glasses in the bedroom — You gotta love a good honeymoon stage.

8. Coffee cups with lipstick stains — She might start charging extra for this one. Lip-gloss is a bitch to get off cups.

9. Excessive towel build-up — Using the pull and pray method? At the rate of one towel per sexual encounter, that adds up to seven extra towels per week.

10. Your bedspread and sheets have more “questionable” stains than Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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