Deal breaker 1: Do not talk about your cats or mother.
During my freshman year of college, a guy in my creative writing class asked me out. A simple coffee date over the weekend at the campus’ Starbucks was suggested. And, as a Starbucks fiend, I could not resist. However, once we met up, my date instantly started to talk about how many cats he had back home and how much he missed both them…and his mother. While I am all for close family ties, this was too much. I learned the cats’ names, ages, personal quirks, and greatest fears. I hate cats; the dude and I were not compatible by any means. The most awkward part of the failed date was seeing one another in class every Tuesday and Thursday for the rest of the semester.
Deal breaker 2: There is a big difference between Facebook creeping and Facebook stalking.
After a dinner-and-a-movie date with a guy I had just met, I return home later that evening only to receive this text from said guy, “Are you seeing someone else?” And while this is a fair inquiry, it also took me by surprise. I responded the only way a girl should: “Why?” His answer? He had scrolled through all of my Facebook pictures and said that since some of the more recent ones included other males (the one he was specifically referring to was my gay best friend – obviously), he grew very concerned and needed to know if he should be jealous. It must also be noted that this question was asked after our first and only date.
Deal breaker 3: No exes.
I was seeing a boy in high school and after our third or fourth date, right after an intense make-out session, he looks at his phone to read a text from an ex-girlfriend. Instead of ignoring the message or remaining silent, he apparently felt the need to dive into their long history and conclude with, “And we might get back together too.” What he was asking for was the luxury of juggling us both. Needless to say, I had never driven away faster.
Deal breaker 4: Do not automatically assume you are about to “get some.”
This pertains to every date. I was out with someone who I took for a romantic Italian man. Later that evening, he gave me the ultimatum of either having sex with him right then and there, or going home and cutting ties altogether. The choice was easy. I ended up with a chick flick and bag of delicious Doritos in my comfy, twin-sized bed that night.
Another time, a guy was dropping me off after our first date and went in for the kiss. After pulling away, I shouted, “Who do you think I am?! I’m a classy lady!” and ran out of the car. That was primarily for dramatic effect; the date went horribly, anyway.
Deal breaker 5: If your clothes are nicer than mine…no.
I dated a guy who went to a private school and came from a very well-off family. For our first date, during the wintertime, I wore jeans, boots, a lace blouse, and a black leather jacket. He, on the other hand, rolled up in designer kicks, a button-down, and a watch. The most expensive clothing item I own probably came from a JC Penny (and is not designer). After proceeding to ask if I wanted to go shopping later that weekend at his favorite mall to spice up my style, I slyly declined. Turns out our preferences did not only differ in clothing style.
Luckily, the sooner these pet peeves and deal breakers are identified, the sooner we allow ourselves to find the one we have been waiting to commit to [enter swooning here]. Happy searching!