What does being “nice” mean? Kind? Helpful? Considerate? Selfless? Nice people are people you have generated positive feelings towards, but you might not remember the exact reason. I’m sure you think you are nice. Somewhere at some point, you made another happy because you sacrificed. Nobody really admits it, but being nice exhausts people. Not because paying for a meal for that friend really burnt a hole in your pocket. Not because saying your greetings and thank yous on a gloomy Monday morning was really that difficult. Not because the numerous favors your friend demands from you are all that trivial and annoying.
Nice people hope that by expecting nothing in return, it makes them even nicer.
Nice people hope that being nice somehow adds merit to their personality. Nice people sometimes expect that by being nice, others will return that positive energy equally. Nice people might not stop being nice, simply because they don’t want to be un-nice. Sometimes nice people are jealous of other people who can be even nicer. Nobody admits that it is exhausting, because that’s what being nice means. Murmuring about having to be nice makes you uncool. So you just choose to say “I’m tired of life.” But in reality, you are just tired of being the nice guy no one cares about.
What is that I hear? Making someone else happy is enough to make you happy? You can’t be happy about having to deal with your friend’s ridiculous self-abasing rant about how she doesn’t believe in love anymore. At 20.
No one realizes why nice people don’t get remembered. Nobody admits they have thought at some point: “Hey I’m that nice guy who helps everyone, why doesn’t this happen to me?” Everyone prefers to think they are the givers and the compromisers. It’s true – we all are. That’s why we don’t remember the last person who was “nice” to us.
We all grow up learning good deeds via rewards and appraisal. Doing something “good” gives an arbitrary expectation of something good or even better. That recognition doesn’t exist in reality. If you ever feel exhausted, just refuse to be nice for a moment. Tell your friend to just go to bed. And tell her honestly she doesn’t look good in that skanky short dress she wore last Friday. It doesn’t make you less of a person. Or a nice person.