Let that sink in for a minute before reading on.
Perhaps this is the first time you have read these words directed at you. Or maybe they have sloppily been dribbled out of the lips of friends who got tired of you asking them repeatedly asking them if you are “too sensitive” in the middle of your episode of self-loathing.
I’d wager to say that you don’t behave like most people do. You listen more closely and analyze more rapidly. Words hit you a little harder, emotions feel a little stronger, sensations more overpowering. You gravitate towards many different interests, but prefer the confines of your own unique form of expression. Your mind is one many people do not fully understand.
Growing up, your friends teased you when you cried at that thing no one else did. Today, you still find yourself masking the tears that beg to come out during a meaningful movie or concocting the perfect justification for your anger at a certain situation most people would quickly dismiss.
This is a skill you have been mastering for a long time because no one can protect your truth better than you can.
You could probably recall a time long ago that left an imprint so defined, it became ingrained in your being. Maybe you find yourself shoveling it down so far that you no longer feel anything. You’ve learned to supplement this repression with activities that help you forget. The same ones that pull you deeper into a bad place.
We feel compelled to hide because we have yet to find someone who validates us as we are. But this only does harm to your mind and body. And what better person to support you than the one who knows you best; you.
I want you to understand something. You are different from others. No better or worse, just different. You need to resist the urge to believe you are wrong for being this way. I know the world will tell you otherwise because it is mostly comprised of people less like you. Those without a special form of awareness can lack compassion more than they realize. Those ideas haven’t made it through their filter because they focus on bigger ones. They weren’t made as delicately.
I won’t lie to you. Sometimes who you are will be a burden on you. This ability to tune into finer details will make external noise that much more loud. There will probably be times you are overwhelmed by the state you are in. Instead of attacking yourself the way others have, try to direct that sensitivity back towards yourself. It is normal and human to feel. You just have the task of managing more than your fair share of those feelings.
Consider that you carry much more than others, the reality is that it will take you longer to run the same race.
Be patient, you are still moving forward.
Instead of allowing it to control you, find ways to work with your nature and not against it. Like everything, you can make something positive out of these extra quirks of yours. Try taking some time to figure out how to use that extra attentiveness to your advantage. Learn to appreciate or even laugh in the overwhelming moments. Let yourself feel every feeling you need to. Be a helping hand for someone in a tough situation.
Use your sensitivity to grow into the person you are supposed to become. Eventually, the rest will begin to make sense.