“She broke up with me.” That’s what you said.
I hurried to your side because I knew you needed someone to talk to, and I’ve always been there for you, listening.
She told you it wasn’t your fault. I believe her, but you don’t. You said it’s your fault because you didn’t give her enough of your time.
No, it’s not your fault. I believe her because I am aware of how much you are capable of giving. It’s her who chose to leave and that’s saying enough.
“How could she leave me at a time I needed her the most?”
My heart ached. I wanted to hold you close and whisper, “I’m here, always, I will never leave you.”
I looked deep in to your eyes hoping you would read it from there, but you didn’t. Maybe it’s a little cloudy from where you stand and the words got caught up in the haze.
I fought back the tears and just sat there. Listening. I almost can’t fathom what you were saying.
How could you say all those bad things about you when I’ve always loved your flaws?
She left you because she wanted to! I want to scream at you! I want you to remember me saying it. But I can’t. I can’t hurt you. I can’t tell you things you don’t want to hear.
How could she hurt you? How could she, and the one before her, damage you like this? How could they not choose you while I’m here wanting, waiting, pleading, for you to choose me instead?
How could they not want your love?
They left you shattered and I wanted to whisper in your ear, “come home to me, I’ll give you my heart so you could live again.”
I would. I really would.
Then you said, “She was always there for me, especially at my lowest, she never left my side, she was the reason I wanted to get back up.”
And I remembered.
I was there too. On your first heartbreak, during your failures, at your weakest. I sang to you when your heart crumbled. I made sure you had somebody. So, what about me?
I have always been there for you, too.
I guess I don’t count. I never mattered to you.
They say you can’t choose who you love, and it’s truest to me.
How could I love you this much?
How could I give you my heart and watch you crush it over and over again?
How could I want someone who never wanted me?
I guess I’m stupid.
I am convinced that I am. Then I reckoned,
I am fine at being stupid, as long as it was for you.
Maybe the time will come when I get tired of being stupid. It may take few months or years; I just have to count on it.
But for now, while my heart still yearns for you, while reason has not come back yet, I will stay stupid.
I will still be here for you.
Yes, she left you.
But, I’m here for you.