It’s no secret that introverts suck at intimacy. They’re brilliantly intellectual, AKA they’re stuck in their heads a lot. They spend more time theorizing intimacy than actually engaging in it.
But all is not lost when it comes to love and lust with an introvert.
Introverts feel fiercely and love deeply. They are intense. They have supersonic senses and can experience sex with every molecule in their bodies.
If you’re able to score a connection with an introvert you’ll be able to score a home run in the sack.
Here are 12 things you need to know before getting intimate with an “innie”:
Romance is not something introverts do well. Romance is a fake and inauthentic dance to the introvert. If you wanna get to their heart (and in their pants), be brutally honest. Tell them your intentions and don’t froo-froo it up. If you want a good romping with an introvert, forget the romantics. Say to them, “I want a good romping.” And you shall receive.
Steer clear from highly stimulating situations if you want sex with an introvert. Socialization and high stimulant environments deplete the introvert’s energy. Choose an intimate, one-on-one setting for optimum chances of gettin’ in the sack with an innie.
Having a deep, intense conversation is foreplay for an introvert. If you want to get an introvert in the mood, try discussing a book, a work of art, or social and political issues. Introverts soften and open up—if you engage their interests and passions.
Actually, better yet, try talking as little as possible.
Small talk will kill your chances of getting laid. Small talk pains the introvert. The only person that will get screwed if you engage in small talk is you. Don’t do it.
Their cool demeanor and perpetual aloofness is not a game. Introverts aren’t playing hard to get. Their accidental attractiveness is really sexy. Don’t be discouraged by their standoffish air.
You’ll know if the introvert has an orgasm or not. They won’t (and can’t) fake it.
You’d better be an extrovert. Those are the only people introverts should have sex with.
An introvert will judge the hell out of you in the sack. They judge. That’s just what they do. Then they’ll report their judgments to you in a very blunt, direct manner. Be ready. Take notes.
Introverts are great listeners. Talk to them about what you want in bed.
Introverts have the fantasy advantage. They can use their immense brainpower to fantasize extensively. They could give you a step-by-step guide to their perfect sex scenarios. It’s up to you to make the fantasies a reality. Trust me, it will be worth it.
Introverts don’t need to be held after sex. They actually prefer not to be touched at all after sex. They’re touched out. They won’t get offended if you don’t spend the night. They probably don’t want you to, anyway.
If you really want to turn an innie on, hand them your Myers-Briggs results. Let them decide if there is a (calculated) connection.