I fail to grasp that this is my new reality. That I have found a love that is constant. A love that values me. A love that has stayed.
This story with you has unraveled me and has shown me how flawed my views of love were. How distorted my thinking was because of my past heartbreaks. The hurt of lost love that has made me believe that love is a painful thing, a shrewd game that leaves everything in pieces.
In my mind, a love worth having was a love that could be held on to, no matter the pain and emptiness it left me with. I believed that true love was always an intense love, measured by how many tears soaked my pillow at night, by how many lonely days I spent wandering the streets longing for this one heart to walk by my side. I was so adamant that I experienced love in these scrawled letters, riddled with words meant for someone who would never come to read them.
Love was a hasty, intense, temporary experience that always ended. Love never stayed. It overwhelmed my world the way a hurricane does, leaving devastation behind. That was my idea of love before our paths crossed. And I was certain that you were just another storm slowly approaching the shores of my heart. I truly believed that you would leave me drowning as all the others did.
Yet it was with serenity that you drew me near and our love began to grow in a way entirely unknown to me. Not in the chaos and intensity of a short-lived moment, but in the beauty and steadiness of a simple love. My nights became peaceful and my heart was at rest. What a sweet thought to know that who I am is all that your love desires and nothing more.
My steps may be shaky at times and my perception a little tainted, but now I know what makes a love worth having. When it leaves my heart in stillness and not in a storm. When it is grounded in truth and simplicity, not in lies and uncertainty. When it is steady and not threatening to leave because of a more appealing option. I have found this wholesome love in you. And for that, I am truly grateful for all the storms that I have walked through.