What It Feels Like To Miss You

purple hair
Alex Sheldon

Missing you is like the weight of a thousand galaxies pressing against my chest. It leaves me struggling for air, with outstretched arms towards the stars, searching for your face, wishing I could see you. Oh how I wish I could see you tonight. It finds me talking to you into the darkness, make believing that you can hear me. It takes time and stretches it into infinity. It is the strongest feeling my heart has ever felt, but it leaves me so weak. In those moments, I wonder if you can feel me missing you.

It is feeling you in everything I do, accompanying me in my comings and goings. You are everywhere and yet you are not at my side. How tragic it is to miss someone that your heart cannot call home. I can see the rooms, the neatly folded bed sheets, the picture frames hanging on the walls, yet the hallway is quiet and the front door has remained closed for far too long. Missing you is a lonely journey, one that finds me constantly looking back to those sweet moments, those moments that made us into what we are.

Missing you is the inspiration to the art I create. It is the minor key that holds the melody of my longing heart. It is the heaviness behind the songs that I sing for you. It is the undercurrent of the words on this page. It infuses meaning into my imagination. How strange that the saddest of feelings can lead to the creation of such beauty. A beauty that is the expression of my love for you. And although my love has a beginning, to me it is timeless.

And yet despite my best attempts, I remain unable to fully capture what missing you feels like. It is a paradox of hurt and healing. The unusual image of a flower that is blooming and wilting. The picture what a love that is whole and true, yet agonizing and incomplete. The wound that attempts to heal until the pain returns with each memory of us. Missing you casts a shadow on the path leading me away from you, and still it paints the horizon with the most beautiful of sunsets. TC mark

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