Letting go of someone you love is undoubtedly one of the hardest things that anyone has to go through. Whether you were in a relationship with this person for months or a few years, or even if you never had the chance to be with this person, time carries little weight with matters of the heart.
If this is a person you love truly and deeply, being placed in a situation where you have no choice but to let them go is excruciating. You are left with questions, with faint hope, with anger, bitterness, sadness. Despite the difficult journey that lies ahead, it is important to not lose yourself in this painful process and to believe that you will get through this.
1. It will be an emotional roller coaster and that’s okay.
Letting go of someone you love is rarely a neat and clean process. On some days you will feel fine, you will feel like you are making progress and that you can do life without them. Yet on other days, you will wake up with a weight of sadness on your chest and you will go to sleep with tears streaming down your cheeks. You will wander your days aimlessly feeling empty because you lost something special. In those moments, please remember that it is all part of letting go of love and you are not weak in any way because you are still crying over and missing this person. That’s what love is. Love makes you vulnerable and it will make your heart grieve when it falls apart. But like all roller coasters, these emotional ups and downs will come to an end. Just give it time and do not be too hard on yourself.
2. You will be left with a lot of unanswered questions.
This is one of the most difficult aspects of letting go of someone you love: the confusion and endless questions that are running through your mind. Why did they leave? Was everything a lie? Did they meet someone new? Are they back with an old flame? What am I lacking? Is there still hope for us? It is alright to have a lot of questions and it is alright to not know the answers. In such situations, it becomes so important to remember to let things be and trust the process. Although it would be nice to know why things unfolded the way they did, remember that life is made up of a series of confusing and unexpected events.
When letting go of someone you love, it’s not so much in trying to make sense of everything, but in acknowledging that some things will simply remain unclear. Although easier said than done, there is freedom to be found in accepting a situation for what it is.
3. You are not alone.
When letting go of someone you love, we often forget that heartbreak is a very common experience that everyone has gone through. Let that sink in. What you are feeling, all the loneliness, anger, sadness, confusion, are all things that have been deeply felt by someone else. This shared experience of heartbreak allows us to relate to other people’s experiences of heartbreak, be it through music, poetry, art. Although there is a deep emptiness that is felt when the person we love is no longer in our lives, you are not alone in this. Lean on close friends and family. Pour out the feelings of your heart to them. More often than not, you will find that this lonely journey of letting go of someone you love is one that countless people have gone through. Let this be your strength.
4. You deserve a great love.
What makes a relationship worth pursuing is whether you are receiving the love you deserve. Were you happy? Did they give you the love you deserve? Did they value you? You may have loved this person with all your heart, but a one-way love is not worth pursuing, no matter how incredible this person may seem. Never lose your worth over someone who doesn’t see your value. In the midst of the pain that comes with letting go of someone you love, remember that you deserve a great love. A love that fulfills you, a love that lifts you up, a love that is there for you.