When you love someone, you see them in everything. You see them in every ray of each sunrise and sunset. You hear them in the lyrics of every melody. You see them between the colours of every rainbow.
Their absence marks your presence, and all too often your reality is composed of memories of the past, rather than the present.
When you love someone, you hope that a fraction of this love you feel toward them is returned to you. You long with every ounce of your being that this person loves you. You get angry at yourself for imagining impossible scenarios that you know will never come true. Yet if you lower your guard, you know your heart will take you to that place and time where he will look into your eyes, admit his foolishness, and ask you to let him in.
It becomes so real that you can almost see it all unfold in front of you.
The tears, his arms drawing you in, his searching eyes looking into yours asking you, begging you for a chance. You imagine yourself being reluctant, being uncertain. But the honest truth is that this is what your heart has been wanting for countless days and nights.
To be his, at last.
But reality takes over, as it always does. Reality reminds you that you never belonged to him. Reality reminds you that he never loved you.
Reality shines a bright light at a love he feels towards another girl. And it leaves you undone, alone, feeling inadequate.
When you love someone who loves someone else, it leaves a wound that time struggles to heal.
You continue to see him in everything. Yet in the shadows, standing far off in the distance, you see her as well. She is quiet. She does not make her presence known. Yet you know she is there. You can almost imagine her smiling at you, in a sly way, because she is loved by him, and you are not.
Walking the journey of unrequited love has dragged you to the lowest of lows, but it has helped you find something unexpected. A strength that you did not think you had. You look back, and although you feel the hurt, although you still long for him, you find that you are making it through each day, and your journey has continued on without him.
Your life has continued on.
You realize, nothing has ever stopped because you are without him. Time carries on, and in a gentle way, you have carried on also. A part of you will always remain tied to him.
Love that cannot be returned defines a person. It makes you vulnerable and floods in a surge of emotions so raw it leaves you exhausted, yet so alive. But this love prepares you for another love. A stronger love, a lasting love. A love that is extended towards your bruised heart in a beautiful, wholesome way that has yet to be fully explained by the poets.
A true love, a requited love.