1. The Nerd.
Yes, you heard me right. You at some point will date someone that you deem a bit of a nerd. Signs you know you’ve met one: when there is a gaming poster of some description on his bedroom wall, potentially has box sets of Dr. Who on his shelf and maybe even a Russian flag hanging somewhere in the room. He is the kind of guy who spends his spare time tutoring first-year students about Russian history or the all important campus counselor. The one who loves college life so much that he dedicates his spare time to helping others. You fall for his personality. I state personality because physically he doesn’t have much going on. His big heart compensates everything else. You find yourself having movie marathons with him on a Sunday afternoon while you recuperate from partying the night before. The one who leaves chocolate bars outside your dorm room when you are feeling a little bit homesick or offers you a $1 coin when you have no coins to do your washing, the all important sweetheart. Chances are he is that guy who has never had a girlfriend, the one who gets rejected by most and has a secret love affair for Taylor Swift.
2. The Ladies Man.
Yes, you will date a “Player” whether you like it or not. It will begin all innocently because of course it always does. You’ll meet at a party, chances are you share an array of mutual friends, your friend will introduce you, and later whisper something like, “Oh he’s got a rep.” A day later a friend request will pop up on your Facebook from who other, than him. Hastily accept and think nothing more of it. That is until he sends you a message, something along the lines of it was nice to meet you, and we should grab coffee sometime. You respond back with, “I don’t drink coffee.” he laughs and comments on your natural wit. After a week of good quality banter, you agree to catch up. You are taken with him, he is naturally pleasing to the eye and conversation flows with such ease. The date goes so well in fact that he invites you to grab dinner and head to watch a comedy at the local cinema, to which you enthusiastically agree. Week by week you get to know him and discover that perhaps he’s growing past his “Player” rep and genuinely looking for a girl to steal his heart. Chances are darling, he’s not. He’s got the next one lined right up.
3. The Athlete.
The guy with a dream…of big muscles. His lifestyle revolves around 5 AM gym sessions, protein shakes, coaches demands and his all important next weigh in to see how much body fat and muscle gain has occurred. Potentially is into the bodybuilding scene, or working towards his Olympic dream. This guy has a bedtime of 9 pm so all communication past this time will go unanswered. Dating this guy is a nightmare when eating out; foods containing any form of carbs go out the window. He will opt for a salad, and you’ll feel obliged to eat one too. He will constantly talk about the number of kilojoules in food and he too will have a food diary app where he records his every morsel of food. But here’s the catch about The Athlete, his dreams are greater than building any solid relationship. He will use phrases like, “I’m concentrating on my goal at present,”, the all important “I don’t have time for a relationship,” line will be casually slipped into conversation. This guy will be so ripped he will have a list of “friends” he can call upon to satisfy his every need. And this is the cue for you to pack up your dignity and leave.
4. The Trust Fund Baby.
You know the one I am talking about. Drives a BMW, wallet is overflowing with $100 notes, his RayBans are genuine, his parents hide all their money in a trust so, therefore, he is entitled to a student allowance (Government handouts) and his father is likely the CEO of some large company. He is the type of guy who has had everything served to him on a silver platter his whole life. He is at university just for a laugh, his future is all mapped out for him because he will end up working for his father. Fatal flaw about this guy is that he is never really satisfied. He constantly wants better. He spends all his money on the latest clothing and shoes from high-end retailers. And when it comes to girls, last week’s girl is old news. Deep down this guy is incredibly emotionally unstable. His last girlfriend probably cheated on him, has narcissistic traits and has other issues. He will hide you from his parents, this includes entering the mansion through the butler’s entrance to avoid having you to meet them at all costs because he doesn’t want a relationship with you, just a bit of fun.
5. Tinder boy.
Yes, you’ll get to that point on a hungover Sunday afternoon with your friend, that the pair of you will both download the app for a bit of a laugh. Your second match will be this guy, after an instant match swiping right. You’ll connect over witty banter, he will pluck up the courage to ask for your number, where he will proceed to text you instantly to check you haven’t given him a false one. Texting will lead to Snapchat and before long he will rise to the top of the best friend list. You’ll both scheme a believable story of how you two met. Something along the lines of “at the university library where he helped me fixed the jammed printer” or something adorable like “the animal shelter” but best of all the trusty “in town” excuse never fails. But remember just where you met him. Tinder. Say no more. You’ll meet a couple of times. The fun soon fades fast like the taste of Hubba Bubba bubble gum. He’s just as into you as his 81 other matches. No, it won’t end in fireworks, or a marriage proposal but simply the game of ignoring each other until you no longer speak.