An Essay About People Who Aren’t Dicks
Mystery Beers were the drink special of the night. I like Mystery Beer night, because it’s the easiest portal into the land of table banter. That’s what I love most about waitressing: table banter.
Mystery Beers were the drink special of the night. I like Mystery Beer night, because it’s the easiest portal into the land of table banter. That’s what I love most about waitressing: table banter.
Renters, we move in and out of houses like unsatisfied ghosts.
“It is not on the syllabus.” He says on the first day of class and then leans forward conspiratorially. “But I want you to fall in love with Chekhov. Read between the lines. Fall in love! Write it down.”
The thing nobody ever told me about being fired — in those talks, the coming of age “getting fired talks” that nobody ever has, ever — was that it feels exactly like being dumped.
But, oh Gillian. YOU KNOW JUST HOW TO TUG AT MY RAW CIVIL WAR HEART STRINGS. Gut me like a fish, please.
I have never been a morning person and that is god’s truth. I think I have lied about this before in casual conversations with Morning People: “Oh, right, mornings? Love them. Daybreak, AM I RIGHT?”
Half smiles are a fact so miniscule that neither party actually knows if they are happening — like dots on a screen, which could be punctuation or just flecks of dust.
The scientific law about giving people your number, however, is that (A) they will always have a girlfriend, (B) they will not call you, and (C) you will see them everywhere – apparating casually onto sidewalks, reading the newspaper on the bus and in every grocery store aisle buying cereal, even if it isn’t a cereal aisle.