woman in white dress standing on red flower field during daytime

So When Exactly Am I Supposed To Love Myself?

A question I, and many people, have been asking for our entire lives. When exactly am I supposed to love myself? I make time to love others, I make time to talk to everyone, I make time to make sure everyone feels loved. I spill my love out to anyone willing to accept it, and even if they don’t love me back, they still have my love.

I still care about the people I’ve cut out of my life. I think everyone deserves love. It’s so hard for me to listen to myself say that, though. I don’t take the time to love myself. I’ll think about everyone else—it gets difficult some days. I see where they’re worth it. They are worth it, and I know that people at the very least tell me that I’m worth it.

So, when exactly am I supposed to love myself? The real answer: Always. I should love myself all the time. I should know I’m supposed to care about myself, and there’s the saying that no one can pour from an empty cup. I don’t feel like my cup is empty… until it comes to myself.

When I see others in distress, I want to help. I try to save people. It’s what I do—it’s a way I find happiness. Is that when I should love myself? When I know I’m making a difference for someone else, I can love myself for that. I don’t understand, though. I need to find a reason to love myself.

I don’t look for reasons to love other people, but I look for reasons to love myself. I’m constantly searching for a reason to love myself. I often struggle for a reason to love myself. I search for it, always searching for the reason. I don’t know why I see so many reasons to love everyone but me. Even people that have hurt me, I’ll look and see them through rose-colored lenses. They deserve love and happiness.

Do I really deserve it, though? Yes. Hell fucking yes, I do. I deserve the same love I put into other people, and I deserve for it to come from myself. I deserve to love myself, and I know this wholeheartedly. There’s good and bad in everyone. I see the good in everyone else, and all I see is the bad in me. Why can’t I see the good? Everyone is their own harshest critic.

I do love me, though. I love myself for things that I do. I love that I can find some pride in myself. I love that I see the good in people. I love that I find things to enjoy in life. I love that I changed myself for the better.

When am I supposed to love myself? Now. I should love myself now. I should, and I do. I should love myself through every step of the way in my progress. You should love yourself too. Take a step back and use those rose-colored lenses on yourself. You’ll see the good in yourself, and you deserve to.

I should love myself right fucking now. I’m worth it, you’re worth it, we’re all worth our own love. We may not realize it at the time, but we do deserve the love. We deserve to feel special, we deserve to feel safe, we deserve to feel treasured. We’re worth everything we put into other people. Why spend ALL of our love on others?

We have the love to give to others—save some of it. Spare it for yourself. Love yourself for it. Love yourself for being worth it. Love yourself for the progress you’ve made. Love yourself the way you love others. It’s worth it.

I should love myself when I wake up in the morning, when I go to work, when I’m reading or writing. I should love myself throughout the day. Not in an arrogant way, not in a conceited way—I am not the center of the universe, but I deserve my love. I deserve my love MORE than most of the people I’ve spent it on. I deserve the love of myself and the love of others.

I need to stop fighting myself. I need to stop arguing with things. I need to stop rejecting myself. I am worth it. I know that I’m worth it, and I’m going to start showing it to myself. What’s the point in waiting now? I am worth my love, and the answer to that lifelong question? You and I should love ourselves RIGHT fucking NOW.

About the author
Love yourself. It's worth it. Follow Sarah on Instagram or read more articles from Sarah on Thought Catalog.

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