Every day goes by and she’s fighting something. She’s always fighting for the will to keep going, a will to survive. She’s working hard to keep everything together and keep a life worth living. She’s trying her hardest just to get by because she knows that she has to. She has to fight through the pain, the distress, the anger and anxiety associated with it.
This woman is one of the strongest people that you could ever meet. A woman fighting chronic pain has more strength than you could ever imagine, she has a will that you never thought could exist in this world. It’s hard sometimes – for her to keep going. At times she doesn’t want to keep going, at times she wants to just lie down and give up.
It feels like she’s going to succumb to the pain and let it eat her from the inside out. It feels as if though there’s no point in trying anymore – the pain will still be there at the end of the day. Her emotions may run wild at times because she’s facing a demon that you can’t see. Emotions are always high and you never know what’s going on in her mind.
You may never get a true insight into her mind because she wants to protect you. Protecting people from seeing something that may cause them to see her differently has been in her life since this pain started – maybe even since birth. There’s a desire to keep going no matter what and to keep the people around her happy.
It’s like riding a constant rollercoaster that you’re so enthralled in and have no desire to get off. There’s no need to run from it even if it causes fear at some points. You know that you’re safe because if she chooses to love you back – if she lets herself love you back – it’ll be pure and it’ll be strong. As strong as she is, her love will be unwavering. She’ll be something that you’ve never encountered before.
She’ll be strong and protective over you – she doesn’t want your pity, she wants to nurture you. She wants to be the protector at times, and at other times she wants you to hold her and tell her that she can get through it. It’s a never-ending yet ever-changing world for her. Sometimes she’ll try to run and she’ll be doing it as a way to protect you. She doesn’t want you to see someone that you love suffer.
Some days she can’t hide it and some days she seems like she’s the queen of the world. Even if she’s the queen of the world she could still be silently suffering. Your queen could still be fighting just for the pure will to keep going. There may be something off but she’s going to push through it. This woman has fought through it her entire life and she’ll continue to fight – you have no need to worry about that.
The pain is a normal thing for her at this time. It’s chronic – she’s been through it for a long time. There may be days where it causes suffering for both of you because she just can’t do it. She just can’t get through what she thinks she can. It’ll cause emotional distress for her to keep pushing through everything and if she can’t accomplish all that she set out to, she’ll be angry, maybe even furious. She’ll be frustrated and upset and need you to understand.
Sometimes you may be a rock or a crutch. What she uses to keep moving forward or lean on in these times of distress. Other times you may be the center of her world as a distraction from herself or just because for once, she wants to be the one showing the compassion. She wants to be the one that shows the love and nurture needed – she wants to return the patience and effort that people put into her.
Please know that when you love a woman with chronic pain, you aren’t loving a bird with a broken wing. You’re loving a fighter, you’re loving a strong-willed, strong minded person that could give you the world if given the opportunity. You’re loving a woman that’s been through more than you could imagine and her love is an amazing gift.