Stop Pretending To Be Somebody You’re Not

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Cristian Newman

You don’t have to pretend that you’re okay if you’re not. You don’t have to shut your mouth up if you have something worthwhile to say. You don’t have to be with someone who makes you feel worthless or that you are not enough. Above all, you don’t have to stay in a relationship that is killing your happiness and is keeping you from becoming the best of who you are.

We all have this notion of keeping things to ourselves hoping that it will become better soon or bad things will never be repeated. And to be honest, I admire those people who have the courage to stay and hold on even if all the red flags are up, even if every little detail is shouting at them to leave and run away. I admire how strong these people are, how patient and hopeful they are that a better tomorrow is coming and that everything will turn out perfectly fine. And I salute those who choose to stay and endure everything; and eventually get the true happiness they deserve. They are for keeps, I tell you. They will stand by you through thick and thin and they are willing to hold on to what little hope they have because their gut, their instinct is telling them to hold on just a little bit longer.

However, there are things and people and relationships that need to be let go. There situations that need to be left behind. And there are relationships that ought to be broken for a reason. Not because you wished for it to be lost or broken but because you need to save yourself from losing who you truly are and from breaking your heart too much it might be too difficult to put back together. There are relationships that never last for reasons you might not be able to comprehend. There are times you lose people whom you thought are supposed to stay.

But remember, the universe has its ways of aligning things. God has His own way of setting things in their right order. His ways are always better than ours.

At times, they seem too difficult to understand but 10 – 20 years from now, you will look back and realized that it was meant to happen so that something more beautiful will fall into place.There are things that need to be said, emotions that need to be seen by others and people that should be left behind – FOR GOOD. There are matters in this world that are better said, expressed and left behind in order for you to be better, to feel better, and for you to become the best version of who yourself. It is not selfish. It is not rude. I call it self-preservation. I call it self-love. Because as God commanded us to love others as ourselves, it simply implies that we ought to learn to value ourselves so that we can value and preserve others.

Never stay in a relationship for the sake of having one. Never run after someone just because you are too afraid to be alone. Above all, never sacrifice your own happiness just to keep a relationship. 

Being in love and being loved are two of the best things in this world. God is the author of LOVE. He is the main source of true love. Being in love is such a beautiful thing. It is supposed to make you feel better and become better. It is supposed to amplify happiness and elevate your inner joy to a higher level. But being in love with someone who corrupts your happiness and robs the joy in your life is never healthy.

Be very careful in choosing whom you give your love and yourself to. Be very cautious in putting your trust with someone. And be very careful with whom you give your heart away.

You don’t have built in radars which instantly lights up when you meet the one. So expect that prior to kissing your prince, you have to go through the process of dating a bunch of toads. Prior to meeting the one, you have to go through the being-broken-moving-on drama of your life. 

And prior to meeting your perfect match, you will be tested to a couple of mismatched dates who will someday make you realize why it didn’t work out, who will teach you great values about life and relationships, and who will lead you to the perfect one God has reserved for you.

So be very careful with who you allow to enter into your life. Make sure they are worth having a crack or a chip in your heart. So say what you want to say. But be very careful in choosing the right words. In the end, it is always best to be kind than to be right. But if what you want to say is worthwhile and will definitely be of great use to others, then take heart and be brave enough to speak up. Always be wise. Know when to speak and when to stay silent.

Express your emotions. Let others know if you feel bad. Let them feel that you are happy. Share with your loved ones what you truly feel because they care about you. They are interested in knowing what you think and want or hate.

And lastly, learn to distinguish which relationships are worth the keep and which ones are ought to be let go.

Be brave enough to let go of what you are holding and free yourself from all the pain and burdens you are carrying. What hurts you the most, will teach you the best lessons in life.

And one more thing, you don’t have to pretend to like someone or to assume a different character around people or limit your words just please others. Be yourself. Speak up your mind. Express what you truly feel. The right people will stay and will still love you for who you truly are.

Remember: those who truly love you will never hurt you. Those who truly love you will never leave you. And those who truly love you will always stay. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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